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it's a tough world for english majors...

2009-05-27T17:13:00.003-04:00

My primary workplace complaint is that there is no [even moderately] acceptable place for sun and books to converge on my lunch hour. I could walk a block and sit outside the pizza place, but that would require the expenditure of unhad funds and the intake of unjustifiable foods.

Today I resorted to crouching [unprofessionally] behind my car in the parking lot - balanced precariously on a curb far too narrow for sitting – and scarfing forty pages.

Tomorrow I might bring a lawn chair.

objectivity...

2009-05-08T15:13:00.005-04:00

What do you think about things?

Right now I'm obsessed with objects and what they mean.

This is why I'm drawn to people's bookshelves rather than a facebook app of their current reads. It's why I dislike shopping online and plan on Garage Saleing away my summer.

I do not speak for myself. My stuff says more about me than I'd like to admit. I am in a season of acquirement.

i am not brave
i am not brave
i am not brave

[un]comfort zones...

2009-04-02T17:55:00.005-04:00

Public speaking, bungee jumping, spontaneous roadtrips, cliff diving, running marathons, blind dates...there are so many ideas for spicing up life. But I've been challenged this year to get outside the box in a whole new way:

What if being outside your comfort zone involves less externally frightening action, and more inner development? Is the latest thrill just another way for me to avoid my heart and the growth that desperately needs to happen there? To dig into loneliness, fear, and the simply unlovable and unavoidable parts of my personality rather than keeping them stuffed in my "comfort zone?"

What would it look like to live my daily life in that state of mind? Not some sort of weird trance or extreme activity, but "outside of my comfort zone" as in the opposite of being busy/distracted/thrill seeking? I've been slowly working through what will probably be a constantly-reread-book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality. And, wow. Talk about challenging. If you have a case of Spring Spiritual Plateau, check it out. You probably won't agree with everything, but you should be okay with that by now.

I love this description of worship from Pearl, which is my "almost committed, but not quite to the fb relationship stage" church.

"Many aspects of our worship are counter-cultural: silence, penitence, disciplined waiting, re-centered observance of holidays. By these impositions, our worship does not conform to our cultural or personal preferences. Instead we are asked to conform to its rhythm. In this we remember our place as strangers on this earth and in this place. When we don’t “feel like it” or struggle with doubts, the corporate directedness (sit, stand, say this, etc.) and cycle of the Church calendar can provide a framework for exercising what little faith we may have, reinforced by the greater Body of believers – those sitting next to us, as well as those who’ve gone before us. In this way we engage in spiritual calisthenics, submitting ourselves to the shaping work of corporate spiritual exercise."

Worship is an excellent reminder that we aren't called to be confined by our expectations and preferences, but transformed by another force entirely.

Want to come with me some Sunday?

Update: If you have a few minutes, I love this guy's writing and appreciate his humor and generosity towards the churches he visits. I don't think I've ever been this open to God's work in my heart in unfamiliar/easily-criticized settings. Once again, I don't agree with everything, but it's super interesting. What do you think he'd say about your church?

2009-03-23T17:00:00.004-04:00

Last night, Millicent and I held in a "who is reading the crappiest novel" contest, and despite my triumphant entry, I lost.

She is reading Dan Brown's first novel, and I was only reading...

But wait, here's the backstory:

In celebration of my upcoming 1 year English Graduversary, I decided to reflect on all of the great literature I have absorbed during my oh-so-extensive reading life. Then I went to Powell's, was overwhelmed by my lifelong task of education, and got kind of bookdepressed. I ended up diving into too many at once, feverishly pulling books off the library hold shelf and sinking my teeth into their spines. Nafisi, Updike, Shapton, Lewis, Baker... Oh yeah, I'm reading!

And then I hit a mental wall.

Which lead me to do something stupid.

I decided to read something popular [see popculture lecture by whalen, david, phd]. A book saturated with words like "dazzle" [used as a verb], "smoulder" and "godlike" [adjectives], as well as excessive sentences containing both "cold" and "marble." That's right, I decided to read Twilight.

Despite the dirty looks from my mother and the rest of humanity, I'm okay admitting it because I can't say I'm enjoying it in the least. Next time I'm looking to put myself awkwardly in the middle of some TMI teenage lust, I think I'll just go hang out at my local high school. Or maybe the Honours Lounge at my alma mater.

I did actually get sort of into the 3rd 4th of the book last night [evil tracking vampires are more entertaining than good lovesick ones], but I know better. Maybe that's what education really is - the ability to distinguish between great literature and passing fad books, while still occasionally reading both. It's like the fact that I can whip up a delicious healthy dinner in no time, but every once in a while, it's still fun to get french fries.

Also, right now I can make a lot of cheesy vampire jokes.

sunset...

2009-03-17T12:31:00.003-04:00

I stood at the edge of the world on windtorn legs and thoughtless toes and breathed in sharp air as the orange sun dragged all of the Pacific into itself.

some giant -- striding -- love...

2009-02-24T15:47:00.002-05:00

On Oscar's love for Ana:
"The only thing that came close was how he felt about his books; only the combined love he had for everything he'd read and everything he hoped to write came even close" [Diaz 45].

See? When I say I love you more than books, it means something.

vocation...

2009-02-18T16:08:00.006-05:00

My old cogitating friend Nick Baker suggests, "Once you decide on a profession, you riffle back through your past to find early random indications of a leaning toward your chosen interest and you nurture them into a false prominence..." [u and i, 99]

As much as I love my office, I can't say that I have always desired to be an Administrative Assistant. Grocery Bagger, Horse Trainer, Librarian, Teacher, and Movie Director, yes. Perhaps all of them indicate a desire to apply order to chaos, to help develop an intricate structure out of lowly beginnings.

For Baker and I, this nurturing is relentlessly circular. We are Thinkers and Orderers and Creators [one of us more skilled and well-paid, naturally], therefore we think about Thinking, we order the Order, and we create more Creators [or at least, he writes books and i encourage more appreciative readers]. If he were something other than a self-aware and self-depreciating writer, would he even consider the false or real search through the lumber of his mind for evidence of long-standing childhood card-cataloging? He thinks about falsely making connections within the Two Roads Diverged and ends up making real connections. Unending layers!

I love the playful edge to his prosal wanderings. His deep awareness of the light, floating bits of existence constantly feeds my own neuroses. In fact, he has enflamed my desire to study something I'll never actually learn simply to experience the joyous act of manipulating knowledge in its physical form:

"Above the single candy-stripe of the magenta line I wrote down the quotation, as well as I remembered it; below, on the blue pin-striping, was the source, if I knew it, and the date and time I made the card, and what number it was in the total sequence, and any other notes I felt called on to make. I saw myself...flipping through them at high speed in spare moments, like a language student studying for a final; laying them all out side by side on the rug and playing some sort of game of concentration with them. I very much wanted them to become dog-eared. I wanted to get good at wristily doubling the rubber band around them when I had finished with them for the day. But I half knew at the outset that they would prove less useful than the initial pleasure of filling them out would lead me to expect..." [u and i 99-100].

Ahhh, there's nothing like the smell of introspective abstraction. Gotta get me some notecards, notecards.

words of love...

2009-02-15T12:36:00.007-05:00

Happy Valentine's Day, all my former faithful blog reader loves!

You know it's been too long when you can barely remember your if this is actually your regular posting font, or just something that looks similar.

I haven't made any formal statement of blogger-FAILdom, but I also can't act like I'll be posting from now on. Like so many things in adult life, this too is uncertain and slightly frightening [while freeing, of course].

I have been tweeting frequently these days, which fits into my schedule better because it only requires a thought transfer of 140 characters, not anything worthwhile or longish like a blog.

Until soon [or possibly never again,] I'll leave you with an Emily Dickinson poem full of epigraphs to unwritten classics. It was used in a sculpture/textile exhibit I saw at the Lesley Dill exhibit in the Hunter Art Museum in Chattanooga, Tennessee yesterday. I am completely captivated by the idea of "Some striding -- Giant -- Love --."

#263

A single Screw of Flesh

is all that pins the Soul

That stands for Deity, to Mine,

Upon my side the Veil -

Once witnessed of the Gauze --

Its name is put away

As far from mine, as if no plight

Had printed yesterday,

In tender -- solemn Alphabet,

My eyes just turned to see,

When it was smuggled by my sight

Into Eternity --

More Hands -- to hold -- These are but Two --

One more new-mailed Nerve

Just granted, for the Peril's sake --

Some striding -- Giant -- Love --

So greater than the Gods can show

They sink before the Clay,

That not for all their Heaven can boast

Will let its Keepsake -- go

i have no idea...

2009-01-09T23:46:00.000-05:00

Good thing it's Friday!

Our resident crazy tenant just called today and severely harassed me about something totally out of my control. I have no idea what to do, but I kind of wanted to say something impolite and go cry.

She has also lied to three people, including myself, about some papers she was supposed to receive on NEXT MONDAY, saying that I promised it to her yesterday, or that Nicole promised to her last week [both completely untrue, and everyone here knows it]. She constantly makes up stuff like this and calls multiple times a day. She doles out threats like they're government bailouts, then is super syrupy and flattering if you do exactly what she wants when she wants. She tells people in the office that other people in the office "never" return her calls. She got out of a lease [read: LEGAL CONTRACT] with the old building owners because she said she saw a ghost. She regularly harasses my boss about wanting a job with our company. At least we all know she's insane so everyone kind of ignores her, but it's been the first truly difficult thing about my job.

What do you do when grownups lie?

fur n boots...

2009-01-08T02:10:00.000-05:00

NYE Festivities

new times...

2009-01-08T01:58:00.002-05:00

Woot for 2009!

I have a new job, a new address, I'm working on getting the new car and new roommate. I have a newish hair color and I met some new friends.

I'm learning old lessons in new ways, like owning my mistakes and not trying to control away discomfort.

Here are a few things I'm working on for the new year:
New Bod: Run 100 miles. [i have about 98 to go]
New Mind: Read and Review 25 books. [i have 24 to go]
New Heart: Recite 5 chapters of the Bible.

I'm gearing up for a year of hard times/the best times. I know this will be a year of settling in, but that means a year full of completely new experiences, relationships, and room to grow. I'm not filled with hope as much as resolve. I want to dig in and see what its like to have roots and bend in new ways.

best of...

2008-12-30T23:47:00.001-05:00

[2008]
best planet: Saturn. It has rings and I like jewelry.
best way to travel: Ferry boat
best birthday: Crazy Birthday Skit 23
best new title: College Grad
best book not read for class: Home [marilynne robinson]
best assigned book: Brideshead Revisited [evelyn waugh]
best month: Mystery Month
best grad: My Grad!
best new city: Boston
best concert: Over the Rhine
best website: Typeracer.com
best house: The Little Yellow House
best summer flick: Indiana Jones
best show: 30 Rock
best americanos: Albina Press
best apologetic: The Reason for God [Timothy Keller]
best shoes: Grey pumps
best waste of time: Twitter.com
best suite: Suite 344
best workout: Hiking Scar
best tour: East Coast Adventure Tour
best singing: Worship team with Paul and Kaysha
best hat: The Yellow Slouchy hat
best bedroom: The one on the beach at Little G's
best eats: Spring Break
best singing: Belting it out with the piano
best purchase: Brown boots
best haircut: Sarah at Blue Chair Salon
best afternoon: Saturday Afternoon
best surprise: Visit from Kates
best cd: The Submarines [You, Me & the Bourgeoisie]
best wedding: Josh and Mili!
best foreign food: Tiffin in Philadelphia
best new career given up: Temping
best trail: Freedom Trail in Boston
best jeans: Skinny Levis
best roadtrip: The Coast Weekend with Cassandra
best night: Ann Arbor with Becky
best ring: My Boccioni Pearl Ring
best cards: Letter Press Cards
best museum: The Philadelphia Museum of Art
best class: The Statesmanship of Winston Churchill
best card game: Cribbage
best relaxation: Coronado Beach
best tv: The Summer Olympics
best vegetable: Root vegetables
best thursday: Thursday Next
best starbucks: Cherrie's Starbucks
best break: Spring Break
best webzine: patrolmag.com
best party: Senior Dinner Dance
best loss: The Superbowl
best skirt: Yellow jcrew pencil
best girl with an instrument: Ingrid Michaelson
best soup: Snowed in Split Pea
best children: CBS Children
best bond: Still Casino Royale
best poet: Czeslaw Milosz
best insane 23 hour trip: JohnDavid & Elyse's wedding

how to make a snow cone...

2008-12-23T17:08:00.011-05:00

1. Apply generous amounts of snow to the whole world. About a foot should do it.

2. Select flavor of syrup. Lime, for example.
3. Upon selecting the perfect snow [located at easy mouth level, but out of the reach of contaminants], pour flavored syrup.
4. Gather members of the family and enjoy!

newlygrads...

2008-12-23T16:43:00.002-05:00

What with all this snow [a foot!] and lack of work [snow days and christmas vacation days - i still have a job], it feels a lot like I'm still in Hillsdale. As the memories of long tormented nights and petty social frustrations fade, the Ghost of College Past is flourishing. As I read this bit from A Severe Mercy, I couldn't help but think of the best of conversations and company.

...We had decided from the first to reach out to or draw in all we could of the extraordinary richness of the great university round us. In a way all of us at [college] knew, knew as an undercurrent in our minds, that it wouldn't last for ever. Lew and Mary Ann expressed it one night by saying: "This, you know, is a time of taking in - taking in friendship, conversation, gaiety, wisdom, knowledge, beauty, holiness - and later, well, there'll be a time of giving out." Later, when we were scattered about the world. Now we must store up the strength, the riches, all that [college] had given us, to sustain us after...

I hope the giving out is going well for everyone. Sometimes I miss that place and you people more than anything. I'm told that as I get more established into "the life after," that it will fade, but I hope that the memories only get better.

[/end sappiness]

waiting ten...

2008-12-12T18:56:00.000-05:00

In every place I have ever lived/visited [specifically: southern california, portland, the northwest in general, georgia, the south in general, virginia, michigan, and new england], I have heard people say: "Well, that's the weather in __________ for you! If you don't like it, wait ten minutes!"

Do you think that is true of everywhere? Why do we all still say it? Am I the only one who has noticed this?

parse this...

2008-12-11T01:19:00.003-05:00

As part of my highly nebulous Administrative Assistant career, I open and sort the mail. While you are unlikely to believe that this is the most exciting part of my day [it's not. and it usually takes up a large amount of time which i would prefer to devote to more impressive tasks], occasionally I do pull something interesting out of an envelope. Today I found something so fantastically bad that it was spared the all-powerful-shredder.

With the economic downturn, many businesses are having to work a little harder than usual to get clients. As a result, small businesses are apparently turning to the "old fashioned write 'em a letter" trick. Some people even employ Graphic Artists to mail out their resume to every address that shows up in a generic google like "property management." Unfortunately, the following company did not employ a starving Graphic Artist or starving English Major, as evidenced by sentences like this: With well over twenty years of experience in flat and low pitch roof application and repair you can be assured of an educated evaluation and the most logical recommendation for repairs and mainenance that can assist in an extended roof life.

I am currently having flashbacks of editing due-in-one-hour-and-i-still-need-300-words freshman papers. [man, i was a great ra]

Of course, I can see the good intentions behind statements like: When we see a roof in older condition we are excited to see how long we can keep this roof going. He probably knows his roofs and works hard.

But parsing this stuff is not for the faint of heart/mind. I give you the penultimate masterpiece: Most commercial roof systems appear to look the same all over and it is sometimes hard for the untrained eye to pick up on even a simple problem, that is why you need me to personally walk the roof deck and view the condition and the problems that are apparent and to discover the hidden problems not so easily seen.

From the top of the page, with the unnecessarily quoted motto "Our Company is Insured" to the final sentence - If your contract says ________________ then that's whose doing your job - this ad is a mess. If I needed a commercial roof, it might be worth a pity hire.

So thanks, College, for forgiving our pitiful freshman [and let's be honest, senior] attempts with the Thesauraus and Word Count. Thanks for instilling in us the ways of proper word usage and The Elements of Style. We can't roof buildings, but we could sure write about them with flair.

useful...

2008-12-09T14:30:00.003-05:00

My coworkers frequently ask me to settle grammar disputes.

Maybe my useless major is being appreciated by the work world after all!

[and a most happiest of superlative birthdays to my dear schmol]

darlin', christmas is coming...

2008-11-25T23:04:00.003-05:00

On my way home from work I saw two houses being decked with lights, I can't stop listening to this cd, and tonight we made it official...my mom made fudge. It is Christmastime!

I am thankful that I can focus on people and not finals this season. I am thankful that I have a job I enjoy, people I like to spend my days with, and a safe place to land.

practically holy...

2008-11-23T12:03:00.003-05:00

For those of you who doubt the hygiene habits of my current household, I present the following note, which appeared taped to our bathroom mirror last week:
Question: Is someone eating the soap? We are currently using an average of three bars a week. Too many! Love, Mom

you are so wise, w.p...

2008-11-19T15:46:00.005-05:00

"One of the peculiar ironies of being a human self in the Cosmos: A stranger approaching you in the street will in a second's glance see you whole, size you up, place you in a way in which you cannot and never will, even though you have spent a lifetime with yourself, live in the Century of the Self, and therefore ought to know yourself best of all.

The question is: Why is it that your entire lifetime you will never be able to size yourself up as you can size up somebody else - or size up Saturn - in a ten-second look?

Why is it that the look of another person looking at you is different from everything else in the Cosmos? That is to say, looking at lions or tigers or Saturn or the Ring Nebula or at an owl or at a person from the side is one thing, but finding yourself looking into the eyes of another person looking at you is something else. And why is it that one can look at a lion or a planet or an owl or at someone's finger as long as one pleases, but looking into the eyes of another person is, if prolonged past a second, a perilous affair?"
[walker percy, lost in the cosmos]

You must read.

When your brain hurts from thinking hard about numbers, it is an entirely different feeling than when your brain hurts from thinking about words.

subterfuge...

2008-11-11T21:56:00.003-05:00

Today as I was running down 21st in the rain, late for my hair appointment because of the ridiculous lack of parking in NW and my ridiculous lack of parallel parking skills, I met a large pile of leaves on the curb, which was actually a cleverly disguised puddle.

My nice black heels are bad luck, apparently. If it's not mud, it's muddy leaf water.

But my hair looks great and I'm going to see Ingrid tonight.
Can't catch me now, World.

how to like it...

2008-11-02T23:52:00.007-05:00

I generally keep this blog free of excessive quotes, but I have to make an exception for this poem. I can't stop reading it. It is a lost version of something hilarious and poignant. I've been reading poetry like crazy this fall, jumping back and forth between mystery and music, enjoying the challenge of something difficult that no Professor is making me study. Overall, it doesn't matter what I do during my work day, because at the end of the day, I can read things like this.

Literature take me outside of myself. And so I read:

These are the first days of fall. The wind
at evening smells of roads still to be traveled,
while the sound of leaves blowing across the lawns
is like an unsettled feeling in the blood,
the desire to get in a car and just keep driving.
A man and a dog descend their front steps.
The dog says, Let's go downtown and get crazy drunk.
Let's tip over all the trashcans we can find.
This is how dogs deal with the prospect of change.
But in his sense of the season, the man is struck
by the oppressiveness of his past, how his memories
which were shifting and fluid have grown more solid
until it seems he can see remembered faces
caught up among the dark places in the trees.
The dog says, Let's pick up some girls and just
rip off their clothes. Let's dig holes everywhere.
Above his house, the man notices wisps of cloud
crossing the face of the moon. Like in a movie,
he says to himself, a movie about a person
leaving on a journey. He looks down the street
to the hills outside of town and finds the cut
where the road heads north. He thinks of driving
on that road and the dusty smell of the car
heater, which hasn't been used since last winter.
The dog says, Let's go down to the diner and sniff
people's legs. Let's stuff ourselves on burgers.
In the man's mind, the road is empty and dark.
Pine trees press down to the edge of the shoulder,
where the eyes of animals, fixed in his headlights,
shine like small cautions against the night.
Sometimes a passing truck makes his whole car shake.
The dog says, Let's go to sleep. Let's lie down
by the fire and put our tails over our noses.
But the man wants to drive all night, crossing
one state line after another, and never stop
until the sun creeps into his rearview mirror.
Then he'll pull over and rest awhile before
starting again, and at dusk he'll crest a hill
and there, filing a valley, will be the lights
of a city entirely new to him.
But the dogs says, Let's just go back inside.
Let's not do anything tonight. So they
walk back up the sidewalk to the front steps.
How is it possible to want so many things
and still want nothing? The man wants to sleep
and wants to hit his head again and again
against a wall. Why is it all so difficult?
But the dog says, Let's go make a sandwich.
Let's make the tallest sandwich anyone's ever seen.
And that's what they do and that's where the man's
wife finds him, staring into the refrigerator
as if into the place where the answers are kept -
the ones telling why you get up in the morning
and how it is possible to sleep at night,
answers to what comes next and how to like it.
[stephen dobyns]

white people like book tours...

2008-10-23T00:34:00.006-04:00

On Monday night I donned my scarf and pea coat and headed to the night's ultimate urban event: a book signing by Christian Lander.

Lander, of the website-turned-book-deal "Stuff White People Like," is somewhere in the middle of a cross country tour with his best friend and blogging buddy Myles Valentin. Naturally, his journey of cultural satire takes him to "The Whitest Metropolis in America," Portland, Oregon.

Powell's Books, the city's hippest literary legend, is as crowded as it can be without anyone invading anyone else's personal space bubble. Apparently, white people also like arriving early. There's a handwritten sign on the door that says the event is closed, but I am undeterred. My friend Rachel is camped out in Paranormal Romance, but I choose to listen in from the slightly less adventurous Children's Section. I press my ear to a large display of Harold and his Purple Crayon.

Read the rest of the article at Patrol Magazine...

an appeal...

2008-10-22T14:37:00.000-04:00

You, my friends, wherever you are,
Whether you are grieving just now, or full of joy,
To you I lift this cup of pungent wine
As they often do in the land of France.
From a landscape of cranes and canals,
Of tangled railway tracks and winter fog,
In the smoke of black tobacco, I make my way
Toward you and I ask you a question.
Tell me, for once at least laying
Caution aside, and fear and guarded speech,
Tell me, as you would in the middle of the night
When we face only night, the ticking of a watch,
the whistle of an express train, tell me
Whether you really think that this world
Is your home? That your internal planet
That revolves, red-hot, propelled by the current
Of your warm blood, is really in harmony
With what surrounds you? Probably you know very well
The bitter protest, every day, every hour,
The scream that wells up, stifled by a smile,
The feeling of a prisoner who touches a wall
And knows that beyond it valleys spread,
Oaks stand in summer splendor, a jay flies
And a kingfisher changes a river to a marvel.
...
[czeslaw milosz]

viva la vote...

2008-10-22T01:07:00.002-04:00

I've come around a lot of circles and I'm going to vote with my head and gut regardless of what my [rebel] heart tells me. I figure two out of three isn't bad for the modern world.

Isn't it weird that voting is about 'a statement,' 'a personality,' or 'a worldview.' Was it always about that? What has driven the people of history to vote the way they did? Was it always such a guilt trip from every side?

drive, drive, drive...

2008-10-14T20:33:00.001-04:00

Some fall days, when I'm missing Hillsdale [actually, what i miss is leaving hillsdale and heading for jackson or ann arbor], I think that I should fill up my [sister's] car with gas and just start driving south without looking back.

I could probably make it to Medford.

oh, mississippi...

2008-10-12T01:32:00.001-04:00

Have you ever seen a man playing the bagpipes while riding a unicycle?

Because I have.

resume tips from the unemployed...

2008-09-30T21:06:00.011-04:00

Since none of your well-intentioned resume tips seem to be helping, I'm at another temporary receptionist position for a couple of weeks. [unlike pam, i seem to dream of being a receptionist]

At this new job, I happen to be by the e-mail account receiving responses to two craigslist posts about jobs in another state. As I spent hours forwarding them on to the appropriate people, I have developed a few tips of my own. I claim no "definitely get job offers thrown at you in minutes!" secrets, but I am a pretty good at seeing faults. Here's my far from comprehensive list for your enjoyment/improvement.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO IF YOU WANT YOUR RESUME DELETED:
-Send multiple e-mails with little bits of information added each time [examples: sentence fragments, your phone number, or "than you for considering myresume"]
-Have a 14-year-old email like "cutesybuttons_89@hotmail"
-Attach your cover letter and just put "cover letter attached, thanks" in the actual body of the e-mail instead of copy/pasting it
-Start every sentence with the word 'I'
-Talk about how you need this job so that you can relocate away from your horrible in-laws
-Make really illogical leaps, like "The fact that I used to be a Starbucks Barista and now work at a Server at Applebee's proves that I am a 'rising star' employee"
-Have cliche pseudo-religious "God is always ready to give us second chances" signatures at the end of your email
-Title your cover letter "generic cover letter," so the company knows they're special
-Mention your cat
-Put "craigslist post" in the subject line, and no information about the actual position you're applying for [the post id is equally as useless]
-Always only use run on sentences so that you can include lots of pointless information about your cat, ex husbands, etc for the company to use when they are trying to decide who to interview and eventually who to hire for the position that you didn't specify
-Misspell lots of words
-Copy/paste your cover letter so it loses formatting and all punctuation, and don't fix it
-Include a automatic return receipt request
-Hire someone who doesn't speak English to write your cover letter
-Mention that your ex husband ran a construction company, so you're qualified to run one
-Use smiley faces
-Be named Foxy Brown [i'm sorry your mother named you that, but you will never get hired any place where you might be given a business card. discrimination exists. deal with it]
-Write your cover letter in your native language, then translate it using google
-Use the word "unique" about yourself, your personality, your job skills, and your work ethic
-Misspell the job you're applying for
-Add a line like "And yes, I am old enough to know how to work a typewriter, ha ha"
-Use a formal cover letter template, then have your name written in pink scripty type
-Put any random line in your cover letter in ALL CAPS [preferably something like I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU ABOUT THIS POSITION, so the potential employer can tell you are excited]
-Provide a link to your myspace page

to be continued...

seeing is changing...

2008-09-29T03:03:00.002-04:00

Coming in late from an evening with friends, I was reminded how much sight influences our world. If we didn't see things change, would we even be aware of that they do?

I walked in to a house stilled by the late hour, the kitchen reminiscing the fresh tomatoes and pasta my sister cooked for Sunday supper. The drive home had been full of memory - things look different behind the wheel - familiar streets recalling youthful adventures with my Grandpa. Things looked different then. Signs and decor change, even for landmark restaurants.

As I microwaved leftovers which I didn't really need [late hours and slowing metabolisms consciously ignored], I heard my older sister's voice in the living room. She was combing our old dog. She asked my dad a simple question about Cricket's fur, her voice reflecting a child's quest for answers. She was sincere and his response was certain. Unable to see either of them from the kitchen table where I sat, I believed for a moment that I was 8 and she was 12 and our dad still knew everything about everything. [my dad = the original wikipedia]

Aside from the ocean, my summer was generally free of reflective surfaces. It was something I didn't really think about at the time. We did everything outside - from eating to sleeping to brushing teeth. It was camp, so appearance wasn't a high priority anyway. Except for a brief glance in an inconsequential mirror every morning I never really saw myself. I didn't realize that my hair turned blonde or that the eyes I looked out from fit into an older face than most of the kids on staff.

Sight changes everything. One must see something in the sense of noticing it, and also in the sense that we process and return new information. The world moves at different paces. Our dining room wall paper hasn't changed, but the people who sit around our table [with less and less frequency] have developed. Closing your eyes doesn't make any of it go away.

starbucks, the underdog...

2008-09-25T16:20:00.004-04:00

I did something unthinkable this morning. Something I should be ashamed of. Something probably unAmerican.

I walked past my local independent coffee shop full of hip people and and went to Starbucks.

And I didn't feel bad. Actually, it might have been feeling bad that sent me there in the first place. See, this morning, I read another article about how Starbucks is closing stores, laying off people, and is down about 378 billion in profits for this quarter. [or something like that] While I doubt that Starbucks is actually going to implode in a cloud of burnt espresso vapor, it did make me reconsider where I spend my money. [never mind that my lactose intolerance has required a switch to pretty much the cheapest thing on the menu - a tall americano]

I don't want my neighborhood Starbucks to close.

Sure, I have only ever seen two cute guys hanging out there in all my years of lurking hopefully with an ipod and journal [see, i am an optimist]. Yeah, it's mostly middleaged sweaty people and cutesy moms with croc-ed/baby gapped toddlers. Of course I get really sick of the Jack Johnson/Feist songs blared just a little too loud. But the baristas are friendly and know regulars, just like at the indie cofee shop.

Why is it so American to hate whoever is on the top? This theory doesn't require proof anymore [see any hipster newspaper or novel by steinbeck or malamud], but it maybe still requires some thought. Why do I fervently hate the mediocre in a cup of coffee, yet settle for almost anything as far as relationships [with god, family, or otherwise]? Why do I look down on the green apron, yet fall for every band t-shirt that walks past? [actually, i think i'm starting to outgrow that. now i mostly fall for nice ties] Should I care more about non-genetically-modified food for myself or anything edible for starving kids around the world?

I think the fact that I even have time and energy to consider these questions reveals a lot about how easy I have it compared to most. So there's my secret: I don't mind Starbucks. Yeah, they're a big corporation: inefficent and impersonal on many levels.

Sometimes I want a great cup of coffee from the local indie cafe. But sometimes the free itunes track, pumpkin bread samples, and comfy chairs suit me fine.

Plus I'm out of cash and found an old Starbucks gift card lying around.

home...

2008-09-25T12:53:00.002-04:00

Reading and writing about home is much more thought provoking when you're in the process [neverending, it seems] of leaving one and creating another.

water...

2008-09-24T12:34:00.002-04:00

Since I'm sure I've exhausted every job ad on monster and craigslist this morning, before I turn to my Agatha Christie hour at my local independence coffee shop, I thought I'd pass on some words of wisdom.

Ashamedly, I was unaware of David Foster Wallace before his death on Friday. But after a little research [handed to me on a golden-linked platter] I have resolved to put aside ignorance and every sin that so easily entangles.

I, too, wonder how someone who writes this could do that. But that's probably the wrong question. What am I going to do today to see the water, to get out of my self-pitying unemployed head, to serve others, and just maybe, do something that helps someone else see the importance of everything around us.

I'm not sure how long that article will be up, but I hope you all pause for a moment in your information overloaded lives and read.

dear fall...

2008-09-23T22:49:00.002-04:00

who are you,little i

(five or six years old)
peering from some high

window;at the gold

of november sunset

(and feeling:that if day
has to become night

this is a beautiful way)
[e.e. cummings]

In the middle of last week, [a few days early] it changed from summer to fall. I am cold all the time. Cummings helps. A fire would be more helpful.

read, past tense...

2008-09-04T00:57:00.003-04:00

Somehow it's easier to clean up computer files than my clothes, which are now scattered in two houses, three different bedrooms, various basement boxes, and my still packed from the summer suitcase. I just found a blog post detailing my summer reading list, and figured it's about time to post it. [at least then i'll feel like i accomplished something today]

Here's my list, which, hopefully, proves that College is only the beginning of Education.

What I've Read Since Graduation [along with snippets of others that i can't actually claim]:

Exiles [ron hansen]
Memoir from Antproof Case [mark helprin]
The Violent Bear it Away [flannery o'connor]
The Beet Queen [louise erdrich]
Twenty-One Stories [graham greene]
The Reason for God [tim keller]
A Handful of Dust [evelyn waugh]
When God Doesn't Answer Your Prayers [jerry sitser]
The Sun Also Rises [ernest hemingway]
The Pursuit of Holiness [aw tozer]
The Silver Chair [cs lewis]
What Jesus Demands from the World [john piper]
Our Man in Havana [graham greene]
The Promise [chaim potok]

methods...

2008-09-04T00:07:00.005-04:00

For the first time in my traveling life, [eight plus years] I have no trips planned. I'm not going anywhere. I'm here. In one place. The city where I was born. In a house where I lived all my life.
And yet, I'm getting ready to leave in a different way than any of my travels. I'm moving out on my own. Moving is totally different from moving out. But I think I'll be fine.

This attachment is nearly detached. The beauty of it all is that, while it's a last necessary snap of the thread, it's been coming for so long that I'm prepared. All of my travels have helped the coming home be so much more meaningful. And as I continue on a parallel [but no longer the same] path with those I love the most, I've been thinking a lot about journeys.

I traveled in so many ways this summer: by plane, train, car, boat, bus, subway, and sidewalk.

fur real...

2008-08-26T15:44:00.003-04:00

It's been a wild and fantastic and humbling summer. I'm in the last leg of my adventures on the east coast [which followed my adventures on the west coast] and not-so-secretly looking forward to the next year of being settled. I've committed to a year in Portland, but after that... I'm excited about full-time ministry opportunities and a passionate life of serving God to the fullest.

Right now I'm sitting in a hip tea shop off 5th Avenue in New York City, waiting for Alisa and people watching like there's no tomorrow. A lady just asked which college I go to. I'm not sure if that means I look smart with all these books scattered around me, or just young.

I couldn't even begin to tell you all the stories from this summer. But, I ended up with a bunch of fabulous new friends, a broad direction for my life, a great but fading-too-fast tan, and a full length vintage mink coat. [wait, a what?]

That's right. I [ahem, 'invested'] spent my carefully saved birthday money on a coat that I found at a house sale in Lexington, Mass. Mama V, one fabulous half of our fearless camp directors this summer, is rather addicted to yard sales and the dedicated dozen spent several early Saturday mornings driving around in a mini-van searching for deals. I now know all the secret rules of yard saleing, including spotting, looking-disinterested, and bargaining. At a grand old house in Lexington, where everything left in the house was for sale, a few of us girls jokingly tried on a beautiful vintage fur coat. The guy said he couldn't get ahold of his wife to find out how much she wanted, and so he'd sell it for $50. Okay, I might not ever have a chance to wear it, but I knew that a coat like that was definitely worth more than $50.

So, after much petting and one payment, I now own something almost as useless as that piece of paper. I laugh at myself [i'll take some glamour shots before i sell it, don't worry] and have a great physical memory of the timeless city of Boston.

Sometimes life is an adventure, and sometimes you have to make it an adventure. Bon voyage!

first comes love, then comes...

2008-08-04T17:56:00.001-04:00

Though I missed many weddings of dear friends this summer,
I was so excited to make a quick trip to LA to attend the nuptials of JohnDavid and Elyse!

Welcome to the Intern 2004 Family, Elyse!

It was so good to see gracious Allison, who let me sleep on her super comfy couch and shared about "the life after." I'm excited to have her as an example of a woman passionately pursuing God in her post-college adventures!

We wish the rest of you could have joined us to celebrate!

Garrison battled endless early morning LA traffic to get me
back to the ferry on time to make my teaching session on Catalina! Thanks, G. Move out West!

off again...

2008-06-16T00:58:00.002-04:00

I'm headed for Catalina in the early morning, so I'm not going to be blogging until August. I'm sure I'll have tons of sunburn stories to share. I'll miss you all terribly, but probably not as much as I'll miss these people:

In case you were wondering, I'm bringing these books:

what jesus demands from the world [john piper]
twenty-one stories [graham greene]
a handful of dust [evelyn waugh]
the beet queen [louise erdrich]
a farewell to arms [ernest hemingway]
the count of monte cristo [alexander dumas]

My address is on my facebook profile, so don't be shy about sending mail! I promise to write back. Lots of love!

numbers [and odd capitalization]...

2008-06-12T00:53:00.003-04:00

College Degrees Obtained: 1
Weeks of Sitting Around at Home Post Grad: 2
Weeks of Sitting Around Temping Post Grad: 3
Sweet Shows I've Seen: 1
Days til I head South for my Island: 5
Weeks I'll be Gone: 7
Weddings I'm Sad to Miss: 3
Weddings I'm Hoping to Attend: 1
Nights I've Stayed Up Too Late this Week: 3
Mornings I've Gotten Up Early to Run this Week: 0
Job Options for Fall: 0
Great Places I'm Going to Live in the Fall: 1
Great Roommates I'm Going to Have There: 1

Some immediate life decisions made, with still more to make. I already feel more settled.

I'm excited for the promise of spiritual and environmental clarity at camp this summer. I am reassured of the care of my Savior and Provider. I am certain of a really great tan.

memorialized...

2008-05-31T14:38:00.003-04:00

clark and lewis

dear diary...

2008-05-23T20:41:00.002-04:00

Dear Readers,

I haven't been updating because I've spent the last two weeks sorting through closets, unpacking suitcases, packing boxes, repacking suitcases, and spending time with family and dear friends. I'm headed off for Memorial Weekend Adventures, but I thought I'd leave you with a near priceless discovery: pages from my diary - 1993.

You may notice several things from these pages:
1. I am a horrible speller. I try to hide it, but I have made only slight improvements since age 8.
2. I am a blatant liar. The first entry about my sister is entirely false.
3. I like to write names really fancy, even to the point of throwing them in the middle of entirely unrelated sentences.
4. There is a 'make your own calender' feature of this journal. I made several months into July so I could record which day of the week Allie's birthday [17th] and my birthday [27th] fell on. Apparently, July is the only month that mattered in 1992 and 1993. Good to know.

Emilys Driary 3/23/93
Mysister Betsy Loves sharks

Dear Diary, 3/23/93
I Just LOVE Spring BraKe and I am aBout reaDy For Summer. Will I got to go see you Nexxttime. Betsy
Emily

Dear Diary, 10/20/93
I am on a plane right now going to Kansas City. I am with my grandperantes. I will ride a horse, go over W.B. With IdIa Ruth. I gotta go bye Emily

Man, I lead an exciting life.

bling, but not that kind of bling...

2008-05-12T12:25:00.005-04:00

I'm thrilled to be right-hand-sporting this amazing Launch present from my parents... If possible, I'm even more excited that it is: a. a pearl ring, and b. strongly resembles one of my all-time favorite sculptures.[unique forms of continuity in space, umberto boccioni 1913]

therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. [hebrews 12:1-2]

notables...

2008-05-04T22:14:00.005-04:00

A few margin quotes from some of my favs:

Bushey, on Maori body decoration: "It makes sense. It's too hot to get dressed, so if you want any decoration, you have to paint or tattoo it on."

On her reasoning behind showing us a particular slide: "I don't know, I just found this great map of the geology of the area!"

On the phrase "research continues:" "That means, 'we don't know anything!'"

On her continual fight with technology: "I'll get to the bottom of this digital mystery!"

Whalen, telling us how to scorn a lover: "I am not the object of a lyric poem! You have to think, not just behold me!"

Telling us how to seduce a lover: "Darling, would you be my surrogate metaphysical manifestation?"

On his teaching style: "I will lie to you frequently to see if you're paying attention."

On Matthew Arnold: "He's so good. Ugh. You just want to hit people like this with a stick." "Snobbery isn't a virtue, but you can appreciate it when it's done with this kind of artistic flair."

On the Medievals: "Admit it: your view of the middle ages comes from Monty Python - really miserable people and highly adulterous people."

On his students: "You're all just lazy featherless bipeds!" "You're all modernists. Belief is not available to you." "It's positively neurotic, and you're all as crazy as bats."

On the facts of life: "Men and women do things together as recreation and produce tax deductions!"

I have no idea: "If you had little muskrats eating your knee caps, you'd pay attention too." "It's like calling a nudist colony the fashion capital of the world!"

On G.K: "I can imagine that it must be difficult to live with Chesterton...you'd probably need a pretty big bathtub, too."

conundrum...

2008-05-02T11:45:00.002-04:00

With one project and three [half] finals to go, I am spending much of my time pondering an overwhelming question:
If I was a novel, which one would I be?

legal graffiti day...

2008-04-27T22:06:00.008-04:00

We painted the Senior Sidewalk yesterday afternoon. There was plenty of space, so I left plenty of quotes and messages and memories. And then I kept a few paint pens, because I'm sure I'll have more to add.
How do you really sum up the four years that have changed your life? I mean, yeah, you learn plenty from 1-18, but 18-22? Infinite.I had a conversation earlier about the need to mourn the passing of this phase. None of us want to stay, but we don't want to leave, either. I think that's what I've been doing all weekend: mourning. It's necessary.

It will be weird to expand this life into something bigger than a ten minute walk across campus. We're all trying to figure out how to not let the goodbyes ruin the final weeks. Plus, it's easier to talk faux-osophically about transition than actually putting in the work on the final paper of my undergrad. In two weeks, I will be standing on nw soil: a college graduate, ready to see if all this actually works.

the night we met

i saw more stars
than i had ever seen before
my ears filled with
bluegrass laughter
and cigarettes
across the empty fields

ode to my favorite shoes...

2008-04-22T16:48:00.004-04:00

i wish i knew you
like these well worn shoes,
feeling you like thin rubber
soles connecting feet to pavement,
(after thousands of unconscious steps)
charged with familiarity
illuminating a subtle incline
the smallest pebble
and the firm grip of gravity.

sunday morning love...

2008-04-06T09:16:00.013-04:00

I woke up with the sunshine this morning [hello, sun. i've missed you! thanks for visiting michigan] and did a little reading. Sometimes reading is fun and easy, sometimes it's a cleverly disguised nudge, sometimes it's that blatantly obvious slap in the face to help you really understand all the other recent slaps. [oh, wait, so all these pieces do fit together? no way!]

For this is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another [1 john 3:11]

I'm not really sure why I thought this, since twenty-two years of experience has so far proved otherwise, but I've always expected that one day, loving people would be easy for me. I'm not sure whether I figured they would all just become really awesome or I would become really awesome, but I expected that eventually everything would change and I would be so awesome at loving/serving/giving. And man, would I be a cool Christian then! This week has been all about challenging my ridiculous conceptions and replacing them with unamenable truth:

"That's what's so difficult about Jesus' call to love others. On one level, it's easy to love God, because God doesn't smell. God doesn't have bad breath. God doesn't reward kindness with evil. God doesn't make berating comments. Loving God is easy, in this sense. But Jesus really let us have it when he attached our love for God with our love for other people." [gary thomas]

Loving people is always the harder thing to do. It's the right thing, but it never really gets easier. When loving people means roadtripping with the windows down and singing along to your favorite songs, man, I'm great at that. But when loving people looks like forgiveness [a conscious continual choice, not actually a one time thing like i previously thought], grace, and pursuing someone as equally unlovable as myself, I want to quit. Yes, I can practice/cultivate behaviors and routines and habits of the actions of love, but this heart cannot be trained to love on autopilot.

I heard someone talking about how Paul treats the Corinthian church. These kids were pretty messed up, yet he opens his first letter to them with the line: "I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus..." I don't think it was easy for Paul to love them. Obviously, he's writing them a letter over some pretty frustrating behavior. In fact, this sentence could even have been as much of a reminder to himself as to them [maybe that's improper speculation, but i know how often i need remind myself of grace before i have any interaction with people].

Love isn't something that works on autopilot. I will never naturally or unconsciously love people. Love is a constant moving forward, not an apathetic staying put and waiting for the Love Fish to jump up out of nowhere and hit your head [gosh, i'm kind of violent this morning. all this slapping of faces]. The people who needed John's letter had heard about love from the beginning, but still needed to hear about it again. Me too.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth [1 john 3:18].

plus four...

2008-04-05T21:07:00.000-04:00

Kayris and I are still wearing blue.
freshmen

seniors

senior formal...

2008-04-04T23:31:00.000-04:00

m & m

four from...

2008-04-01T19:11:00.008-04:00

While spring continues to shamelessly flirt without any real commitment, here are some photos representing warmer times.

cleanup in suite 344...

2008-03-30T09:21:00.000-04:00

The other night, I was using Senioritis and Timezoneitis as my excuses to spend an extraordinarily wasteful amount of time on Facebook. Sitting quietly at my computer, listening to Holly's fabulous "spring mix" cd, I decided to have a little snack. Most of my food was eaten before break, so the pickings were slim, but I found the end of a bag of organic corn chips. Delicious, right?

As I reach my hand into the small chips that always live towards the bottom, I felt a little tickle on my left arm. I looked down and saw that a smallish-but-still-frightening spider had descended from the ceiling with my left arm as his destination. [writing this makes it sound frighteningly civil. i assure you, the real-time happenings were anarchical at best]

I squeaked, made extensive brushing-off and shaking motions with all appendages, and tossed a barrage of corn chips into the air.

I now have two problems: I still don't know what happened to the spider, and my floor is covered in corn chip crumbs. Doesn't the Red Cross usually intervene in post-trauma clean up?

[update: as of 2:35am eastern time (i was on ra duty) last night, the spider and i reconciled our differences. now it is dead. commence victory march through the city]

the way we see it...

2008-03-29T16:16:00.002-04:00

This was on a large number of Starbucks cups [acquired with shocking regularity. thanks for taking the fall for all of that, shmol. i was always in, but you led the way like a truly addicted champion] in the San Diego area. It is quite possibly my all time favorite Way I See It quote:
#289 - So called "global warming" is just a secret ploy by wacko tree-huggers to make American energy independent, clean our air and water, improve the fuel efficiency of our vehicles, kick-start 21st-century industries, and make our cities safer and more livable. Don't let them get away with it!" - Chip Giller

sepia makes everyone a photographer...

2008-03-27T19:12:00.008-04:00

breaking news...

2008-03-27T17:13:00.005-04:00

This is a picture taken out my window moments ago. I can't even decide which snarky comment to use. Maybe I will use all of them:
-Apparently spring didn't get the memo.
-And you wonder why Michigan is depressing.
-I need to go back to Coronado. NOW.
-Seriously, WHAT the heck?
-I got this tan for nothing!
-So much for all those new summer clothes I bought last week!

I think I'm going to just close my blinds and keep looking at Spring Break photos. And do tons of homework to distract myself. Send cocoa.
Or maybe something stronger, if you have it.

my favorite colors...

2008-03-26T23:32:00.002-04:00

[artistic credit to cass-andra for all but the first]

a stay against confusion...

2008-03-06T16:18:00.005-05:00

I'm barely into Ron Hansen's A Stay Against Confusion: Essays on Faith and Fiction, [title taken from robert frost, my favorite poet] but already it's a must-own. For writers and readers, it's up there with Mystery and Manners.

I love reading about people who are passionate and thoughtful about the interaction of faith and art. Hansen's prose is brilliant. I get to meet him next week, as he's our visiting writer this semester.

A few highlights so far:

"Writing not only gives form and meaning to our sometimes disorderly existence, but gives the author the chance for self-disclosure and communion with others, while giving readers a privileged share in another's inner life that, perhaps imperceptibly, questions and illuminates their own. Reading attentively, connecting our lives with those of fictional characters, choosing ethically and emotionally just as they do or in contradistinction to them, we enter the realm of the spirit where we simultaneously discover our likeness to others and our difference, our uniqueness. Questioning ourselves and our world, finding in it, for all its coincidence, accidents, and contingencies a mysterious coherence, we may become aware of a horizon beyond which abides the One who is the creator and context of our existence." [this is why i want to teach, learn, and love: to help those around me understand something beyond ourselves through simple words on plain pages.]

"...I knew the books I liked best were not those that seemed tailored to contemporary tastes but those that were unfashionable, refractory, in subordinate, that seemed the products not of a market analysis but of a writer's private obsession." [can i work for this type of publishing company, please? i'll even sort paper clips if necessary]

I'm sure I'll keep adding to this. But get yourself some Hansen, mkay?
[sorry this isn't pictures, schmol. we'll take a bunch together soon!]

grammar confession...

2008-03-04T18:16:00.006-05:00

I have this horrible feeling that the other night, when responding to far too many e-mails without sufficient brain power, I mixed up 'its' and 'it's' and frequently used the wrong one in an e-mail.

I can't even explain it. I just got this horrible feeling in the middle of my Lewis class today, but I'm too afraid to even look back at that e-mail to check. I might be imagining my folly. But what if I'm right ...and I actually was wrong?

Perhaps this [deleted] snow storm is the vengance of some minor grammar god? I shall spend the rest of the evening shouting apologies to the heavens. And Dictionaries.

Oh, San Diego, I hope you are sunny and warmish when I come visit you!

trivia...

2008-03-01T20:26:00.007-05:00

I'm almost done with the L chapter in The Know It All [one man's humble quest to become the smartest person in the world]. I halfway bought the book for the cover design and halfway paid-full-price-at-powell's because this is totally something I wish I would have the guts to do. Jacobs' book is a memoir of a collection of facts, rabbit trails, and personal reflection. I like rabbit trails - through them, the entire universe is connected.

Since I'm not likely to add the Encyclopedia to my reading list any time soon, I have to stick with vicarious learning. Some of my favorite quotes so far include Jacobs' interview with Alex Trebech, where he records my latest [in a long line of] motto[s]: "I'm curious about everything - even things that don't interest me." [i get it from my dad]

Also among the bounty of laugh-out-loud and wish-i-had-someone-to-share-this-with moments [gosh, i'm really into those phrases-as-words lately] is this paragraph, under the heading Loyd Webber, Sir Andrew:
"That's the feeling I want to get back. I want the world's hidden meanings to leap out at me like a Chinese jumping mouse. I want to see the grand arcs and the big picture. I want to shock people with the incisiveness of my analysis. On the other hand, I don't really want to see any more musicals about trains."

Me too, AJ. Me, too.

I think this is definitely going to be one of those books added to my giant Book Sharing Gift Giving Adventure [where i use other people as my excuse to buy books guilt-free. you're invited to reciprocate], but I'm at a complete loss as who to send it to. Maybe I'll just write a completely random address on it and drop it in a mailbox. "Dear Friend, I hope you love this book as much as I love learning random trivia. Yours, E"

vogue-ish...

2008-02-24T13:59:00.001-05:00

Hey, if you're going to get that dressed up, you might as well take crazy pictures.

Feathers [abbie and becky]

Definitely the cast of a British Mystery Novel. Or maybe Gilligan's Island: The Millionaire, The Millionaire's Wife, The Movie-Star, and Gilligan. [paul, becky, em, and buck]

Hottest Baristas in town. [em and cherrie]

What else is a door frame good for? [becky and em]

such devoted sisters...

2008-02-24T13:43:00.001-05:00

Abbie is here to visit me!

We made food at Mary's house, then got dressed up for the President's Ball.

We made crazy faces, cause we're so cool.

We're kind of ridiculous. And not very good at the coy wink.

case of the tuesdays...

2008-02-19T18:35:00.004-05:00

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I picked up my cap and gown today. And I'm eating oven-roasted beets with rosemary, olive oil, and feta. And I'm going to a Mark Helprin lecture and book signing tonight. And my sister is coming on Friday!

beautiful words...

2008-02-16T11:42:00.005-05:00

I'm a big fan of the whole aesthetic package. Wonderful, terrible words put in a truly beautiful manner. Leave it to Lewis to extract and form my aesthetic philosophy [though i like mine a little wider than his eliot-exclusive views] I think this is why I love my new ESV Bible. After struggling through three semesters of Greek, I have a bigger appreciation for the language that God put into the hearts and pens of His children.

Something sparked Hebrews 12 today, and I read it like I was reading it for the first and ten thousandth time [but it was more like somewhere in between]. These are words to absorb, to dive into. Build your whole life on terrible beauty and good translations.

Paul talks about heritage, discipline, and the pain which perfects us, then he jumps into this: Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. [12-14]

For you have not come to what may be touched, a blazing fire and darkness and gloom and a tempest and the sound of a trumpet and a voice whose words made the hearers beg that no further messages be spoken to them. For they could not endure the order that was given, “If even a beast touches the mountain, it shall be stoned.” Indeed, so terrifying was the sight that Moses said, “I tremble with fear.” [18-21]

But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to innumerable angels in festal gathering, and to the assembly of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God, the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than the blood of Abel. [22-24]

At that time his voice shook the earth, but now he has promised, “Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens.” This phrase, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of things that are shaken—that is, things that have been made—in order that the things that cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. [26-29]

you never let go
you never let go
you never let go

warmth...

2008-02-15T20:39:00.000-05:00

It's mid-February, and spring is nowhere in sight. The icicles melt a tiny bit, then the footprints freeze on the sidewalks again.

Last week, we had a series of weather events which lead to some sweet unintentional art all over campus. The sidewalks were really snowy, people walked on them and compressed the snow, then it rained and melted off most of the uncompressed snow, leaving raised ice footprints all over the sidewalk. I felt like a detective, following footprints around all day. [i should have taken pictures, i know. darnit, em, you have a camera and no excuses] Maybe it's a good reminder that we walk in the footprints of others, making a path for those behind us. Tradition, but in the present, and ever looking forward [hebrews 12].

All I ask is that spring arrives by the time we get back from Spring Break, which begins a month from today! San Diego plans are coming together nicely. The Agenda so far: sleep, mexican food, sun, books, mexican food, people, beach, mexican food, shop, and forget about Agendas for a week.

Until then, I will be wearing my new coat. This is the coat that takes me from mild-mannered midwestern college student to high powered art/lit critic. It was on a ridiculous sale and instantly christened with an amazing set of memories. [i like to wear items which remind me of sweet times. see: london scarf, glasgow dress, intern sweater, etc.]

I'm no Urban Outfitters model, but this is the back:While we both wait for spring [and summer, naturally, cause that's the whole point of spring,] I suggest we both spend a lot of time listening to sweet music.

valentine...

2008-02-12T23:21:00.004-05:00

My 2008 Playlist for Love:

I Want You to be My Love [over the rhine]
My Beloved Monster [the eels]
One Sweet Love [sara bareilles]
More Love [dixie chicks]
Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop [landon pigg]
If You Find Yourself Caught in Love [belle & sebastian]
Someone to Love [tofer brown]
I Believe in Love [dixie chicks]
Love Song for No One [john mayer]
My Lovely [eisley]
Ocean Sized Love [leigh nash]
Nicest Thing [kate nash]
October [rosie thomas]
Simple Love [alison krauss]
How Sweet It Is [james taylor]
My Funny Valentine [over the rhine]
Let's Never Stop Falling in Love [pink martini]
Have You Seen My Love? [rosie thomas]
International Love Song [caedmon's call]
Love is Still a Worthy Cause [sara groves]
Love is Different Than You Think [caedmon's call]

Love is more than one day. Love is more than romance.
I enjoy having a warm, happy reminder that I am loved. February is a long dark month.

if there's ever an answer,
it's more love.

achilles revisited...

2008-02-11T14:44:00.001-05:00

My portrait will never hang
in a library of books and ideas and history.
It is enough to exist,
suspended in a moment of joy,
on the front of a refrigerator.

new friend...

2008-02-07T22:43:00.000-05:00

When I opened the humidifier from my totally awesome Grandma, I started cracking up. I have to admit, I wasn't really expecting something so...lovable.

He makes the cutest little bubbling sound.

And his instruction manual certifies him as "adorable."
I'm totally hooked. You can get your own adorable and useful friend here. I'm just waiting for this trend to transfer into other small appliances. When do they come out with a line of cute toasters?

snowtography...

2008-02-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

Please note that the pond got a little excited; that little bench is a real trooper.

No cardinals out today, but I'll see if I can book one for the next shoot.

shnownanigans...

2008-02-06T19:31:00.000-05:00

Christine and I headed outdoors today for a little snowtography. If my camera batteries hadn't died, there would be more to these clips, but I think you get the basic idea. Here's hopes for new batteries and another four inches tonight...

falling behind: a classic stealth [schrute] strategy

aaand the attack. you can see the terror in her eyes!

february resolutions...

2008-02-03T17:00:00.001-05:00

In case you missed out on January, or have forgotten already, here's a new opportunity to be resolved.

I just discovered that Sovereign Grace Ministries has a bunch of books on sale for $5 this month [and free shipping]. And even better than that, for all us broke college students, they have all the chapters available for free pdf downloads!

I think I'm starting with Spiritual Disciplines and The Great Salvation.

In the month of love, what better to dwell on than the immense love of God? [get ready for my valentine playlist. it's sweet]

be ye educated, be ye human...

2008-01-31T17:31:00.000-05:00

More JHC Newman for your intellectual stimulation. Thursdays are long, but they are good and weighty and meaty, not to be digested passively, but taken in with large bites and much chewing [bad analogy. now i'm hungry].

A great good will impart great good. If then the intellect is so excellent a portion of us, and its cultivation so excellent, it is not only beautiful, perfect, admirable, and noble in itself, but in a true and high sense it must be useful to the possessor and to all around him; not useful in any low, mechanical, mercantile sense, but as diffusing good, or as a blessing, or a gift, or a power, or a treasure, first to the owner, then through him to the world. I say then, if a liberal education be good, it must necessarily be useful too.

I say that a cultivated intellect, because it is a good in itself, brings with it a power and a grace to every work and occupation which it undertakes, and enables us to be more useful, and to a greater number.
[from discourse 7: knowledge viewed in relation to professional skill, sections 5 and 6]

for the benefit of both sexes...

2008-01-29T13:24:00.001-05:00

A really cultured woman, like a really cultured man, is all the simpler and the less obtrusive for her knowledge; it has made her see herself and her opinions in something just like proportions; she does not make it a pedestal from which she flatters herself that she commands a complete view of men and things, but makes it a point of observation from which to form a right estimate of herself.

She neither spouts poetry nor quotes Cicero on slight provocation; not because she thinks that a sacrifice must be made to the prejudices of men, but because that mode of exhibiting her memory and Latinity does not present itself to her as edifying or graceful.

She does not write books to confound philosophers, perhaps because she is able to write books that delight them. In conversation she is the least formidable of women, because she understands you, without wanting to make you aware that you can't her. She does not give you information, which is the raw material of culture, - she gives you sympathy, which is its subtlest essence.

[george eilot - silly novels by lady novelists. which, if you haven't read, ingested, and contemplated, i would get on right now]

year of the long winter...

2008-01-27T16:42:00.001-05:00

Homework has definitely been ignored this weekend [i like using passive voice on my blog, just because i can]. Every time I sit down with the intention of studying, I get about two pages before I put down the book and pick up the guitar. I've been giving up my Winston Time for Songwriting Time. Two songs in one weekend! Who knew?

2008 is the year of the song. Maybe my dreams of being a poor wandering folk singer will finally come true! [someday, when i'm playing in a coffee shop wearing an adorable dress made by my own two hands, you'll know i've arrived]

This time, the lyrics are all mine. I'm so proud of myself, I think I'll eat a cookie.

achievement...

2008-01-26T23:10:00.000-05:00

When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
[Wendell Berry]

I just wrote a song using this lovely poem.

capstone...

2008-01-24T23:32:00.000-05:00

I'm going to make a public confession. I've become one of those simpering girls drawing hearts in the margins of her notebooks and texts.

My love, however, is not any living man. I wouldn't even say I'm in love with John Henry Cardinal Newman, a devout Christian and 19th century scholar [well on his way to sainthood in the Catholic Church]. I am impressed by his passion and humility. When his future sainthood was suggested, he replied, "Saints are not literary men, they do not love the classics, they do not write Tales." [oh, but good men do, john henry...]

My Norton margins are full of hearts because, well, [never let it be said that i turned down a cheesy cliche] my heart is full. Maybe it's just because his work has shaped so much of my college and my favorite professors, [and they basically justify my entire educational experience] but I am so passionate about his writings. [perhaps this is merely further proof of complete indoctrination about classical education/hillsdale philosophy]

Then again, maybe I'm just so excited to have the foundation [three and a half years in the making, kids, or maybe all twenty-two] to understand and appreciate something so-complex-that-it-makes-your-head-hurt but so-good-you-pound-the-table-with-your-fist that I'll believe anything.

But seriously, check it out: [stick with me, this is some thought-provoking stuff]

When I speak of Knolwedge, I mean something intellectual, something which grasps what it perceives through the senses; something which takes a view of things; which seems more than the senses convey; which reasons upon what it sees, and while it sees; which invests it with an idea.

Not to know the relative disposition of things is the state of slaves or children...

Moreover, such knowledge is not a mere extrinsic or accidental advantage, which is ours today and another's tomorrow, which may be got up from a book, and easily forgotten again, which we can command or communicated at our pleasure, which we can borrow for the occasion, carry about in our hand, and take into the market; it is acquired illumination, it is a habit, a personal possession, and an inward endowment. And this is the reason why it is more correct, as well as more usual, to speak of a University as a place of education than instruction.

Education is a higher word; it implies an action upon our mental nature, and the formation of a character; it is something individual and permanent, and is commonly spoken of in connection with religion and virtue.
[all from discourse 5 - Knowledge Its Own End]

This is the reason why we are here. We love because we are Loved infinitely. We create because we mirror our Creator. We develop our minds because God gave them to us to develop. Not with vain or selfish or worthless knowledge, but by engaging our minds and hearts with true instruction and wonder. We seek Him so we can find who we truly are.

This is why I'm getting a Classical Liberal Arts degree in English. Not so I can do, but so I can be.

[it's my last semester, so be prepared to suffer through more of the same and plenty of nostalgia]

for-such-a-time friday...

2008-01-18T23:50:00.001-05:00

Wow, God is funny sometimes. I feel like I'm just standing around with a stupid grin on my face going, "Wait, you did that? Because of that? So I could do that? NO WAY! THAT'S TOTALLY COOL!!"

we put the walls up
but Jesus keeps them standing
He doesn't need us,
but He lets us put our hands in
so we can see
His love is bigger than you and me
[caedmon's call - two weeks in africa]

thursday happiness...

2008-01-17T16:32:00.000-05:00

Today I was walking from the library to class and the wind was blowing pretty hard. It made a whistling noise across the top of my latte cup lid.

PSA...

2008-01-14T12:20:00.000-05:00

I hate to lower my blogging standards with a topic like this, but it's been appearing so frequently that I have to say something. What the heck is up with people talking on their cell phones in the bathroom? As much as I eschew public restrooms, several recent visits have found myself listening to the conversations [which sound businesslike, i might add] of others.

As I prepare to head out into the grand world of Workplace Etiquette, oh-so-filled with new and exciting social rules, I obviously have much to learn. Mainly, when did it become cool to conduct business from the stall? Do these people think that their conversation partner can't hear them? Or that the call is too important to return in two minutes?
Or has the bathroom stall become another portable office in our transitory society?

Please advise. Just don't text/call/or comment from the commode, okay?

happy 4th, my friends...

2008-01-08T01:36:00.000-05:00

Steph, Lily, Dani, Allie, Katie, Julie
JohnDavid, G, Bryce, Will, and Joe!

for my own benefit...

2008-01-08T01:28:00.000-05:00

A few lofty goals:
-Musical [guitar, re-piano]
-Fashion [knit, sew, not buy]
-Travel [explore oregon, or a new country?]
-Literary [start a book exchange, more jewish and russian and shakespeare and theory]
-Fitness [x4, x2, 5k]
-Relational [pursue, pray, give, serve, ask]
-Creative [story, art, class]
-Intellectual [crossword]

quiet saturday...

2008-01-05T23:15:00.000-05:00

It has been wonderful to be home all day. Sometimes I get so caught up in seeing everyone and doing everything in my short breaks that I forget the important things: praying, walking, breathing, resting, reading, serving, etc.

I took a walk this morning and had a bowl of Acai with granola at a little cafe by my house. Then I spent time studying humanity with Dorothy L. Sayers and exploring the ideas behind guerilla art. A strange combination, but it worked well. Both books deal with the ways we as humans relate to our vocations and surroundings. You can go through life on auto-pilot, working at a job and never seeing the pattern made by the cracks in the sidewalk, or you can choose to engage. It's not easy to keep your mind and heart and sight active.

In the introduction to Sayers' essay, Mary McDermott Shideler explains: We are all equal in our creaturehood, whatever our sex, color, age, background, or abilities. But we are all different in the functions we were created to perform, as different as water from stones, and engineering from imaginative fiction. Therefore the primary task in living, for any human being, is to find and do the work for which he or she was created.

Keri Smith writes about street art as a way to enrich the world around us: In an urban environment it becomes necessary to form a direct connection with the landscape, with aspects of the natural world, or with a greater community. Creating street art is one way to foster that connection. By adding to the landscape I am reclaiming it as my own--I am now an active participant in how it operates and a partial creator of its complex language. ...For a moment I am taken out of my known world and presented with an alternative, one that is unexpected and daring, one that makes me thing about the space a little differently. These little gestures...reawaken a sense of connection to the environment by pointing out something I might not have seen, but adding a new image to the world that is unexpected, or by presenting an alternate point of view.

My other grand Saturday achievement, aside from finishing the fourth Thursday Next book, spending more Christmas money on itunes, and a lot of baking, was to learn a song on the guitar. One of my 2008 Goals [in addition to monthly-plus acts of guerilla art] is to be more musical: play piano more frequently and learn more than a couple of chords on the guitar. It seemed appropriate to start out with a simple homage to my favorite movie, Stranger than Fiction. Only two chords, yes, but it qualifies as a real song. Come on, it's in a movie. Totally legit. [see the moviegoer, by walker percy, for more information on the idea that film legitimizes or 'certifies' something for modern humanity]

Sometimes it takes a whole Saturday to prepare your heart and mind for Sunday. I'm sad that it's my last day at church for a while [grad countdown is 4 months and 5 days!], but I'm excited to worship.

I think I hear the timer for my poppyseed cake going off...

best of 2007...

2007-12-31T20:42:00.000-05:00

I love this time of year. I love looking back through the past year of blogging [or lack of. seriously, only one post in july?] and thinking about how my life has changed. I blogged less frequently this year than ever before, but I feel like it's because I had more interaction off my computer. Some adventures and lessons you just can't put into words. Some happen in such quick succession that I barely had time to process, let alone describe. It's been a year of contemplation. It's been a good year.

[2007]
best planet: Venus
best airline: British Airways
best way to travel: Train
best short-term roomies: Lily and Danielle
best birthday: A Quiet 22
best new title: Barista
best book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
best book besides HP7: The Road [cormac mccarthy]
best series: Thursday Next [jasper fforde]
best grad: Joel's Grad
best city visited: Glasgow
best website: Pandora
best apartment: My Little Above-Garage Suite at the Mounts
best summer flick: HP5
best other flick: Enchanted
best tv: Scrubs
best guilty pleasure tv: ANTM reruns [season 7 is the best]
best espresso: Illy
best shoes: Wellies
best lost tradition: Bluegrass Night at the Wake
best betsy: Betsy Maynard
best band attempt: The Pardons
best waste of time: Music Hopping on Myspace
best suite: 344
best workout: Aqua-jogging
best hat: The Brown Slouchy Hat
best new talent: Extreme Apartment Makeover
best eats: Fall Break
best singing: Harmony
best activity: Collage
best purchase: Tickets to the Farewell for Now Tour
best house: The Notting Hill House
best hair: Holly
best boss: Cherrie
best park: Regents Park
best cd: Combinations [Eisley]
best friends: You
best foreign food: Halo Thai
best new career given up: Rock Star
best way: Hemingway
best beverage: Sweet Tea
best jeans: Skinny Jeans
best band: Nickel Creek
best roadtrip: The Coast Weekend with Cassandra
best pod: ipod Nano 3rd Generation
best ring: The Spoon Ring
best cards: Home Made Cards
best museum: Churchill War Rooms
best class: The Modern Novel with Somerville
best history: Modern Art History with Bushey
best ave: North Mississippi Ave
best card game: Bang!
best friend-date: President's Ball
best stress relief: Painting Walls
best vegetable: Beets
best thursday: Last Thursday
best starbucks: Fayetteville
best stamp: A Passport Stamp
best vehicle: A Golf Cart
best break: Breaking the Bed while Remodeling
best blog: Alisa
best parties: Senior Parties
best surrealist: Remedios Varo
best loss: The Birthday Settlers Game with the Garveys
best skirt: The All Purpose Khaki Skirt
best nash: Kate Nash
best modern art movement: Abstract Expressionism
best soup: Cherrie's Lentil Veggie Soup
best highlights: Auburn Highlights
best concert: Alison Krauss and Union Station
best children: Garvey Children
best most genius person alive: Victor Davis Hanson
best car: The VW Convertible
best funny music: Wizard Rock
best poet: Robert Frost
best engagement: Allison and Josh! Yay!
best word to sum up the year: Centering
best reunion: The Summer Intern Mini

reduction...

2007-12-30T21:35:00.000-05:00

In case you'd like to see me in four letters...

gallery que...

2007-12-19T02:24:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to be economical and love people with art this Christmas. I've spent most of the evening landlocked by paper and cardstock. I guess you could say I'm a collage fiend. I enjoy it for so many reason: it's surprising, redemptive, tactile, hilarious, free, and definite [explanations on request].

Here are the front-runners in the upcoming Favorite Card Primary:

"This pic is so Emo"

"Pin Me Girl"

If I have your address, one of these may be coming to a mailbox near you!

home sweet...

2007-12-15T13:12:00.001-05:00

You know you're back in Portland when you walk past someone and get a huge whiff of coffee.
You know you're from Portland when you can tell what roast it is. [it was definitely starbucks espresso]

accidental art...

2007-12-12T17:15:00.000-05:00

It's been a strange afternoon. One minute I was packing, and suddenly there was a huge mess and I was sitting in the middle of it working on a collage. Funny how that happens when you find sweet stuff in various envelopes. I think this is the start of my "travel collage" phase. I'll be happy when all my art supplies are in one state, though. It's difficult to remember what clothes/shoes/found objects I have at school and home.

I've been doing various things with this canvas for a while, frequently scrapping everything [ha ha, pun] and starting over. I guess all I needed was to find that envelope full of UK travel memories from last March. I'm going to hang it over my bed.

Now all I want to do is go back to Scotland. I guess that would require packing, though, so maybe not...

and some green...

2007-12-11T17:57:00.000-05:00

I feel like I needed a contrasting color for the red in the last post. I have one final left and I'm currently avoiding writing the short take home essay about Duchamp's Fountain. At this point in my life, it's far more entertaining to play with my [cleaning out the fridge] dinner and turn up Kate Nash really loud.

darling, christmas is coming...

2007-12-10T16:21:00.000-05:00

I went red for the season! [okay, so, i played with the saturation on this. it's not actually this red, but i had to add a little something to my ghostly michigan skin. it's for the best, trust me]

A finals box from my fam, with Cranberry Drop Cookie ingredients, good chocolate, and a Starbucks Christmas cd!

study habits...

2007-12-08T23:07:00.000-05:00

[blame this posting frenzy on my attempts to ignore finals studying and catch up to my very low yearly posting average]

In case you were wondering, research has shown that, while very stress-relieving, kittens are not very conducive to studying. They have a tendency to attack your toes, freestyle climb up your jeans, and generally be way more fun to study than review notes.

stranger than fiction...

2007-12-08T14:19:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting on the floor of my quiet living room studying for Art History, but really I'm wondering if, like Harold, I sit absolutely still, the story will still move me forward.

As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true.

why i like modern fiction...

2007-12-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

Pilon complained, “It is not a good story. There are too many meanings and too many lessons in it. Some of those lessons are opposite. There is not a story to take into your head. It proves nothing.”
“I like it,” said Pablo. “I like it because it hasn’t any meaning you can see, and still it does seem to mean something. I can’t tell what.”
[tortilla flat - john steinbeck]

now i'm all emo...

2007-12-05T23:51:00.000-05:00

As I sit in Kendall 231 writing a short paper for my art final and listening obsessively to my new Kate Nash cd, my mind wanders over my day. Within one day, there is so much history and depth and connection. Conversations and considerations, public and private. I think too much [like a puppy, right hol?], but I can't help it.

Art, music, fiction, truth, having, abstraction, worship creativity, friendship, patience, love, contentment, moving, sin, learning, disappointment, dreams, losing, grace, strength, weakness, waiting, color, knowledge, humor, evangelism, heart, tradition, subtlety, sculpture, wonder... Words have far more meaning than we realize.

God created me with this mind and put an eternal question mark on my heart. I don't have to have all the answers, but I have to feed these questions.

All these puzzle pieces fit together, but I have no idea what the picture actually looks like. The more I know, the more I want to learn.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. [phil 3:14]

I am satisfied in the Pursuit.

i.s.o.t.d...

2007-11-27T19:18:00.000-05:00

Interesting Sound of the Day: Running over leaves on the sidewalk [with my new pink and grey nike shoes] which have been snowed on, melted, and then refrozen.
The leaves, instead of crunching like normal fall leaves, shatter like glass potato chips.
Lays, I think.

thanksgiving leftovers...

2007-11-24T22:17:00.000-05:00

Out of control

The first one was actually the best, Hol.

Holly, Abbie, Emily. [too bad you don't have a y in your name, abbie...]

why i am awesome, part 1...

2007-11-21T02:37:00.000-05:00

I might not have gotten a ton of studying done this break, but I have been working on a new talent for my resume. Mostly I'm just grateful to be around people who love me no matter what I spend time doing.

p.s. I can do this over and over again!

thanksgiving break...

2007-11-18T19:52:00.000-05:00

[hannah and hp]

'tis the season...

2007-11-14T21:48:00.000-05:00

Things I've Done This Afternoon Rather than Work on My Two Papers Due Friday:
-Pilates
-Shower
-Grilled Cheese Sandwich Dinner
-Throw Away Old Papers
-Make Popcorn for my Suitemates
-Work on My Art History Collage
-Watch ANTM
-Clean the Bathroom
-Clean the Mirrors
-Do All the Dishes
-Bake Brownies
-Think about Packing
-Picking out Books to Leave at Home After Thanksgiving
-Blog

from the brink of a ba, to those who are not...

2007-11-12T22:38:00.000-05:00

The type of mind that can understand good fiction is not necessarily the educated mind, but it is at all times the kind of mind that is willing to have its sense of mystery deepened by contact with reality, and its sense of reality deepened by contact with mystery.
[flannery o'connor - the nature and aim of fiction]

Let's read a book together.

sunday thoughts for the rest of the week...

2007-11-11T19:52:00.000-05:00

The creative action of the Christian's life is to prepare his death in Christ.
It is a continuous action in which this worlds' goods are utilized to the fullest, both positive gifts and what Pere Tielhard de Chardin calls "passive diminishments."
[flannery o'connor - introduction to a memoir of mary ann]

viva varo...

2007-11-07T23:41:00.000-05:00

I love my Modern Art History class. We just finished up Dada and Surrealism movements. Hold on... don't judge an art movement by the fact that most of it is insane and Freudian. [cause it's insanely awesome] Or at least, don't judge it until you spend a semester studying it. The more Art History I study, the more I realize that Art [the uppercase one] often relates to the conversations it inspires. Simply because we argue about whether or not it is Good Art has some bearing on whether it is Art. And like it or not, History says this is. You don't have to put it on your wall, but give it a chance.

And before you throw out Surrealism with the bathwater, study it enough to know why the colors are interesting, the figures amusing, and the composition flawless. Learn to laugh at it all. I'm so amazed at the limitless possibilities of art and the passionate discussions of style throughout the ages. No matter what part of the crazy psyche these come from, you have got to appreciate the creativity of these people!

Where else but Surrealism would you find a shadow trading places with the "real" man?

A woman draped in the forest floor and playing sunbeams like a cello?

A hilarious piece titled "Vampiros Vegetarianos" [complete with rooster-dogs, naturally]

Or the most active still life you've ever met? [this one is going on my dining room wall someday]

Find something new and crazy to love and study and share. These delightful and interesting paintings are all by my new favorite Surrealist, Remedios Varo. Viva!

freak out...

2007-11-06T17:50:00.000-05:00

Oh my gosh, what does one actually do with a Liberal Arts education? And why does everyone who is anyone at Hillsdale act like that's a blasphemous question and then smile and say "oh, you can get any job." What can one actually do with a BA in English?
Help!
I don't want much, really. I just want a job that I don't hate that maybe is working as the office manager/organizer/hard worker/occasional creative input girl for a small business in the portland area where I can read books over lunch and go home in the evenings to a little bedroom and stove and maybe a cat or a friend and make just enough money not to have to live on my mom's couch from now til grad school.
Somehow, Monster.com isn't really computing that into any viable options.