Like a great score, sometimes all the instruments hit you at once with overwhelming force. It starts simply: a certain melody plays in your head, joined in force and depth by more instruments and corresponding harmonies. The music just keeps building; you wish it would keep building forever. In that split second of the final crescendo, the world suspends and everything is perfectly clear. You feel the heights, the depths, and length in one moment.
We've been trading metaphors back and forth. This week the Christian life is like music. The rich textures of music and truth are building. The composer and conductor are one; I'm merely the audience.
The simplicity and suffiency of the Gospel has been building in my heart this semester. Constantly dwarfed by intellectualism and endlessly debated theology, one lamp shines clear and bright on this campus. We are always to balance the head and heart. To live consciously and subconsciously. To be so intentionally placing ourselves at the foot of the cross and in communion with Jesus that the rest of life flows without thinking. We never lose the mystery of redemption.
holy God, in love became
perfect man to bear my blame
on the cross He took my sin
by His death I live again
A humble person doesn't realize he is humble. Humility is not the goal, nor is it the humble man's intent to remove his pride. It is not the absence of something that defines Christianity, it is the overwhelming bounty of another thing.
We discussed the Trinity this week in my religion class. We reviewed four of the seven councils of early orthodoxy and their conclusions about heretical teachings. It was interesting and intellectually satisfying to reason out the character of Jesus. However, the more it is discussed, the less personal and real and responsive Jesus appears.
Yes, Jesus was unified in person with two complete natures. The hypostatic union of the theanthropic person. But this abstraction distracts from His true character. Christianity is not philosophy about Jesus. As an intellectual discipline, Christianity is history and literary criticism. But it is critical that the Bible is not concerned with these explanations. The question is not "how," but "Who."
"While there are many descriptions of God, there is no priviledged description of God, unless one speaks of Scriptual images. When we do, we realize that God is like Jesus Christ. Thus, if you ask what is God like, the answer is that He is not like anything. But, if you ask who is God like, the answer is He is like Jesus. To understand God, therefore, you must read the gospels." [Gareth Moore]
God is not abstract. Attempt to discect Him and He ceases to be an intimate, personal God.
Let the music burn in your soul. Know Jesus.
i can't comprehend this fathomless love
i'm gripped and amazed by what you have done
why would the adored become the despised
to bear all the furious wrath that was mine
how awesome this mystery
of your fathomless love
for me
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
fridge poetry...
I have the Artist set of magnetic poetry on my fridge and every time I clean my fridge, I end up wasting an expanse of time rearranging the words. Like much of my simple life, sentimentality reigns as king of my fridge poetry.
This week's scrubbing revealed a bullet point list of personal reflection.
i
picture green
perform a bold rhythm
investigate His original approach
throw metaphors of grace
live a firey young expirament.
Hey, at least my fridge is clean!
This week's scrubbing revealed a bullet point list of personal reflection.
i
picture green
perform a bold rhythm
investigate His original approach
throw metaphors of grace
live a firey young expirament.
Hey, at least my fridge is clean!
Thursday, February 16, 2006
mathmatical collision...
I'm pretty sure if you set a conversation with your best friend about theology, the simple gospel, sanctificationm and worship, to music, it would end up looking like this.
Thanks to Josh for encouraging me to invest in $13 of this goodness. No thanks to amazon for taking three weeks to get it to me.
Good music makes excellent background noise. Good music should be attentively heard. Great music is a innovative combination of the two.
I am so hyped about attending the InterVarsity Spring Thing this weekend. Please pray for my heart and the hearts of all the girls attending. [the guys are going to a separate event, but you can pray for them too] I am excited because I have been given the opportunity to share humbling truths that Jesus has been showing me lately. A lot of it ties into this cd and I will share it with you too!
Having my own room gives more opportunity for silence and reflection. God knew that this is exactly what I need this semester. I'm growing more than I ever have in my life. And for once, I'm enjoying this. It's never easy, but I'm learning to trust Him. Can you keep this up please, Jesus?
Go deep:
the cross-centered life is made up of cross-centered days. [cj mahaney]
Thanks to Josh for encouraging me to invest in $13 of this goodness. No thanks to amazon for taking three weeks to get it to me.
Good music makes excellent background noise. Good music should be attentively heard. Great music is a innovative combination of the two.
I am so hyped about attending the InterVarsity Spring Thing this weekend. Please pray for my heart and the hearts of all the girls attending. [the guys are going to a separate event, but you can pray for them too] I am excited because I have been given the opportunity to share humbling truths that Jesus has been showing me lately. A lot of it ties into this cd and I will share it with you too!
Having my own room gives more opportunity for silence and reflection. God knew that this is exactly what I need this semester. I'm growing more than I ever have in my life. And for once, I'm enjoying this. It's never easy, but I'm learning to trust Him. Can you keep this up please, Jesus?
Go deep:
the cross-centered life is made up of cross-centered days. [cj mahaney]
Monday, February 13, 2006
postlude...
I always feel a little strange following some sort of spiritual post with something rather pointless.
Riddle of the day: What do a nun, a ninja, and a ceo have in common?
Nobody around here has a case of the Mondays...especially not when I get a letter of hometown newspaper clippings from my mom and a package of love from Mili! Yay.
Gallery Que is still very much in progress. I was teetering on the edge of a roommate for a while, but I'm on solid single ground again. But hey, at least it has a name.
Riddle of the day: What do a nun, a ninja, and a ceo have in common?
Nobody around here has a case of the Mondays...especially not when I get a letter of hometown newspaper clippings from my mom and a package of love from Mili! Yay.
Gallery Que is still very much in progress. I was teetering on the edge of a roommate for a while, but I'm on solid single ground again. But hey, at least it has a name.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
fruitful...
recipe for a fruitful saturday:
With all diligence
add to your faith virtue
to virtue knowledge
to knowledge self-control
to self control perserverence
to perserverence godliness
to godliness brotherly kindness
to brotherly kindness love
for if these things are mine and abound, i will neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
if i lack these things, i am short-sighted and blind, and have forgotten that i was cleansed from old sins.
[1 peter 1:5-9]
[is it adding to scripture if i say you also need to wake up semi-early and drink a good cup of italian coffee?]
With all diligence
add to your faith virtue
to virtue knowledge
to knowledge self-control
to self control perserverence
to perserverence godliness
to godliness brotherly kindness
to brotherly kindness love
for if these things are mine and abound, i will neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of Jesus Christ.
if i lack these things, i am short-sighted and blind, and have forgotten that i was cleansed from old sins.
[1 peter 1:5-9]
[is it adding to scripture if i say you also need to wake up semi-early and drink a good cup of italian coffee?]
Friday, February 10, 2006
twenty, take-two...
I've been twenty for more than six months, but celebrating Kate Day on Thrusday started me thinking about that number again. I was blissfully distracted for my own Twenty Day. Maybe now that I'm fast approaching twenty-one, I can finally think about what it actually means.
Two decades. A quarter of your earthly life, if you're lucky. Two times ten. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Your age seems a lot bigger when you write it all out like that. It's not just a single number, but one more added on to your story. The new number doesn't replace all the old ones, it extends them a little farther.
I've been hearing and seeing for twenty years, walking for nineteen years, talking non-stop for eighteen, reading for thirteen, writing nonsense for twelve, flying alone for ten, had all my teeth for nine, drinking coffee for six, driving for four, and out on my own for two.
But I still don't have it figured out. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm going. Twenty years is a long time, shouldn't I know all that by now?
I think perhaps our problem has been just that: trying too hard to find the myself. Our culture tells us that's all we need.
In Modern on Thursday [and you thought walking, bending, and stepping sideways was easy], Jovita was explaining a movement. The details were getting extensive when she finally stopped and said in her perfect Swiss-American accent, "don't think. just move." That was all we needed - to stop analyzing every little movement of the process and just dance.
I think that I need to stop trying to know twenty years of myself, and focus more on knowing an infinity of God in the person of Jesus Christ.
and how could such a King
shine it's light on me
and make everything beautiful again
and i want to shine
i want to be light
and i want to shine
i want to fly
Two decades. A quarter of your earthly life, if you're lucky. Two times ten. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Your age seems a lot bigger when you write it all out like that. It's not just a single number, but one more added on to your story. The new number doesn't replace all the old ones, it extends them a little farther.
I've been hearing and seeing for twenty years, walking for nineteen years, talking non-stop for eighteen, reading for thirteen, writing nonsense for twelve, flying alone for ten, had all my teeth for nine, drinking coffee for six, driving for four, and out on my own for two.
But I still don't have it figured out. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm going. Twenty years is a long time, shouldn't I know all that by now?
I think perhaps our problem has been just that: trying too hard to find the myself. Our culture tells us that's all we need.
In Modern on Thursday [and you thought walking, bending, and stepping sideways was easy], Jovita was explaining a movement. The details were getting extensive when she finally stopped and said in her perfect Swiss-American accent, "don't think. just move." That was all we needed - to stop analyzing every little movement of the process and just dance.
I think that I need to stop trying to know twenty years of myself, and focus more on knowing an infinity of God in the person of Jesus Christ.
and how could such a King
shine it's light on me
and make everything beautiful again
and i want to shine
i want to be light
and i want to shine
i want to fly
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
from criticism and fiction...
Realism at its best:
"Art can never give the rules that make an art. This is, I believe, the reason why artists in general, and poets principally, have been confined into so narrow a circle; they have been rather imitators of one another than nature." [edmund burke]
"The true standard of the arts is in every man's power; and an easy observation of the most common, sometimes of the meanest things, in nature will give the truest lights, where the greatest sagacity and industry that slights such observation must leave use in the dark, or, what is worse, amuse and mislead us by false lights." [edmund burke]
"The time is coming, I hope, when each new author, each new artist, will be considered, not in his proportion to any other author or artist, but in his relation to the human nature, known to us all, which is his privilege, his high duty, to interpret." [william dean howells]
"Everything in England is appreciable to the literary sense, while the sense of the literary worth of things in America is still faint and weak with most people... We are all, or nearly all, struggling to be distinguished from the mass, to be set apart in select circles and upper classes like the fine people we have read about. We are really a mixture of the plebian ingredients of the whole world; but that is not bad; our vulgarity consists in trying to ignore 'the worth of the vulgar,' in believing that the superfine is better." [william dean howells]
What do you think about realism? Isn't that pursuit of higher and hero also a realistic aspect of humanity?
President Ulysses S. Grant writes about the Novel in his Personal Memoirs [remind me to write one of those], "Worse than that, they beget such high-strung and supersensitive ideas of life that plain industry and plodding perserverance are despised, and matter-of-fact poverty, or every-day, commonplace distress, meets with no sympathy, if noticed at all, by one who aswept over the impossibly accumulated sufferings of some gaudy hero or heroine."
Is he correct?
"Art can never give the rules that make an art. This is, I believe, the reason why artists in general, and poets principally, have been confined into so narrow a circle; they have been rather imitators of one another than nature." [edmund burke]
"The true standard of the arts is in every man's power; and an easy observation of the most common, sometimes of the meanest things, in nature will give the truest lights, where the greatest sagacity and industry that slights such observation must leave use in the dark, or, what is worse, amuse and mislead us by false lights." [edmund burke]
"The time is coming, I hope, when each new author, each new artist, will be considered, not in his proportion to any other author or artist, but in his relation to the human nature, known to us all, which is his privilege, his high duty, to interpret." [william dean howells]
"Everything in England is appreciable to the literary sense, while the sense of the literary worth of things in America is still faint and weak with most people... We are all, or nearly all, struggling to be distinguished from the mass, to be set apart in select circles and upper classes like the fine people we have read about. We are really a mixture of the plebian ingredients of the whole world; but that is not bad; our vulgarity consists in trying to ignore 'the worth of the vulgar,' in believing that the superfine is better." [william dean howells]
What do you think about realism? Isn't that pursuit of higher and hero also a realistic aspect of humanity?
President Ulysses S. Grant writes about the Novel in his Personal Memoirs [remind me to write one of those], "Worse than that, they beget such high-strung and supersensitive ideas of life that plain industry and plodding perserverance are despised, and matter-of-fact poverty, or every-day, commonplace distress, meets with no sympathy, if noticed at all, by one who aswept over the impossibly accumulated sufferings of some gaudy hero or heroine."
Is he correct?
Monday, February 06, 2006
public humiliation...
for those of you with every intention of skipping my wedding.
actually, looking at this makes me think i'll probably join you in the race for the hills. maybe we can sneak back for a piece of cake though, eh?
"the cry goes round, 'the young lady is desperate!'" said Psmith.
actually, looking at this makes me think i'll probably join you in the race for the hills. maybe we can sneak back for a piece of cake though, eh?
"the cry goes round, 'the young lady is desperate!'" said Psmith.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
faith my eyes...
Yesterday I ate indian food, sat in a real coffee shop, hung out with cool people, bought communist sweat shop shoes at the urban outfitters sale, and cried.
as i survey the ground for ants
looking for a place to sit and read
i'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
how they're much like this concrete
that's warm [cold] beneath my feet
Talitha let our Bible study in on her Hillsdale survival secret: Ann Arbor is only an hour and a half away. If I'm never in Hillsdale another Saturday, you'll know where to find me.
We ate amazing food at Raja Rani, [where the 'student discount' was suspiciously like a 'bunch of hot girls discount' but i'm not complaining] a cool Indian buffet in [where else] an old house. After parking in the Maynard Street parking garage [fate] we camped out at Espresso Royale Caffe, the perfect blend of hip wireless internet, comfy couches, grungy college students, and old-brick-warehouse-turned-coffee-bar.
Sometimes it's necessary to leave a place in order to realize how much it changes you. It took me a couple of hours sitting on a comfy purple couch to even feel the tension in my neck. It's nothing like last semester, but there nevertheless. If I was really smart I'd attempt to fight for some sort of student rate from the chiropracter here in Hillsdale, but for now, I think I'll stick with begging my friends for a massage every once in a while.
and how i'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
with a touch of my father, just up around the eyes
and the sound of my [sister's] laugh
but more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives
Hillsdale deadens my creativity. I was mad that I left my journal in my room, because Espresso Royale gave me the urge to write. I think things and have something to say outside of this zip code. I can already feel the inspiration draining away; even this blog post is becoming difficult.
I'm such a open book. I am no longer adverse to crying in public places. Especially airports or coffee shops that remind me so much of home. I swear, some of the people walked in the doors straight from the pacific northwest. I missed my family and Portland so much. Strange to finally be able to breathe again, only to have that breath caught in your throat or sunk in the pit of your stomach [dramatic, romantic, excessive].
hometown weather is on tv
i imagine the lives of people living there
and i'm curious if they imagine me
cause they just want to leave; i wish that i could stay
It seems so selfish to want to go. I will go crazy missing these people, but I want that sense of 'place' as well as the people. How important is that? Wanting to leave and wanting to stay. Obviously, all I really need is Jesus. But I still get to make decisions. Life is all about balance and change.
but i get turned around
i mistake some happiness for blessing
but i'm as blessed as the poor
still i judge success by how i'm dressing
I've had some good coversations with friends this weekend about change. We all agreed that our dislike of change comes from the need to control. Change is okay. Change is good. It happens, it's natural, it's what we are created to do. It's your power to responsibly use [thanks spiderman]. It's good to grow closer to other people than you first knew, to expand your horizon, to deepen those first friendships and sometimes, it's good to leave things behind.
but if i must go
things i trust will be better off without me
but i don't want to know
life is better off a mystery
It started snowing again, a refreshing change from my homesick grey days. Yes, it's colder, but the snow is so beautiful. Drifting down, covering up bare fields, spreading a little magic on an asthetically empty landscape. I like this snow. It's peaceful, with a hint of adventure as you're walking up the hill. It's Christmas morning all over again: I get up and run to the window to see how deep the possibilities are for today.
so keep 'em coming, these lines on this road
and keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load
and keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
and i'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes
If I stay, I'll have a cool opportunity to continue being an RA with the most awesome people on campus. If I go, I'll have the knowledge that God has proved Himself faithful in my time here and will continue wherever He takes me.
But, if it's two more years in Hillsdale, I'll live most of them in Ann Arbor.
so i'll sing a song of my hometown
i'll breath the air and walk the streets
maybe find a place to sit and read
and the ants are welcome company
as i survey the ground for ants
looking for a place to sit and read
i'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
how they're much like this concrete
that's warm [cold] beneath my feet
Talitha let our Bible study in on her Hillsdale survival secret: Ann Arbor is only an hour and a half away. If I'm never in Hillsdale another Saturday, you'll know where to find me.
We ate amazing food at Raja Rani, [where the 'student discount' was suspiciously like a 'bunch of hot girls discount' but i'm not complaining] a cool Indian buffet in [where else] an old house. After parking in the Maynard Street parking garage [fate] we camped out at Espresso Royale Caffe, the perfect blend of hip wireless internet, comfy couches, grungy college students, and old-brick-warehouse-turned-coffee-bar.
Sometimes it's necessary to leave a place in order to realize how much it changes you. It took me a couple of hours sitting on a comfy purple couch to even feel the tension in my neck. It's nothing like last semester, but there nevertheless. If I was really smart I'd attempt to fight for some sort of student rate from the chiropracter here in Hillsdale, but for now, I think I'll stick with begging my friends for a massage every once in a while.
and how i'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
with a touch of my father, just up around the eyes
and the sound of my [sister's] laugh
but more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives
Hillsdale deadens my creativity. I was mad that I left my journal in my room, because Espresso Royale gave me the urge to write. I think things and have something to say outside of this zip code. I can already feel the inspiration draining away; even this blog post is becoming difficult.
I'm such a open book. I am no longer adverse to crying in public places. Especially airports or coffee shops that remind me so much of home. I swear, some of the people walked in the doors straight from the pacific northwest. I missed my family and Portland so much. Strange to finally be able to breathe again, only to have that breath caught in your throat or sunk in the pit of your stomach [dramatic, romantic, excessive].
hometown weather is on tv
i imagine the lives of people living there
and i'm curious if they imagine me
cause they just want to leave; i wish that i could stay
It seems so selfish to want to go. I will go crazy missing these people, but I want that sense of 'place' as well as the people. How important is that? Wanting to leave and wanting to stay. Obviously, all I really need is Jesus. But I still get to make decisions. Life is all about balance and change.
but i get turned around
i mistake some happiness for blessing
but i'm as blessed as the poor
still i judge success by how i'm dressing
I've had some good coversations with friends this weekend about change. We all agreed that our dislike of change comes from the need to control. Change is okay. Change is good. It happens, it's natural, it's what we are created to do. It's your power to responsibly use [thanks spiderman]. It's good to grow closer to other people than you first knew, to expand your horizon, to deepen those first friendships and sometimes, it's good to leave things behind.
but if i must go
things i trust will be better off without me
but i don't want to know
life is better off a mystery
It started snowing again, a refreshing change from my homesick grey days. Yes, it's colder, but the snow is so beautiful. Drifting down, covering up bare fields, spreading a little magic on an asthetically empty landscape. I like this snow. It's peaceful, with a hint of adventure as you're walking up the hill. It's Christmas morning all over again: I get up and run to the window to see how deep the possibilities are for today.
so keep 'em coming, these lines on this road
and keep me responsible, be it a light or heavy load
and keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
and i'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes
If I stay, I'll have a cool opportunity to continue being an RA with the most awesome people on campus. If I go, I'll have the knowledge that God has proved Himself faithful in my time here and will continue wherever He takes me.
But, if it's two more years in Hillsdale, I'll live most of them in Ann Arbor.
so i'll sing a song of my hometown
i'll breath the air and walk the streets
maybe find a place to sit and read
and the ants are welcome company
Friday, February 03, 2006
banana pancakes...
can't you see that it's just raining
ain't no need to go outside
Welcome to Hillsdale, Michigan, where they promised me a white winter. Instead, I get all the dark beauty of a Portland winter without actually being there.
It's been overcast and forty-five for the past week. I've been hit with the homesickness truck a couple of times this week, but I pull out of it surprisingly quickly. Last night it felt good to take a walk in the light mist [portland girl: 70,000 ways to describe rain].
rain all day and i don't mind
I headed over to the State House to be guest of honor at the Corpse Bride party. [because her name is emily too!] Amazing cool movies are even better when you watch them with cool people. Trin and I sat on the couch for half an hour afterwards, our jaws hanging open at the extras. Did you know they made that movie with stop-motion puppets? Skill makes the beautiful even more impressive. I doubt whether I'm talented enough to be in movies. Guess I could always stay in Hillsdale and work at a diner for the rest of my life!
I try not to be too cryptic on this blog, but can you allow me to mention that some people just don't get it? Because they really don't. Although people never change, my latest reaction is to laugh and ignore them. Is that right? Is is okay as long as I don't get angry and let them have it?
baby, you hardly even notice
when i try to show you this song
is meant to keep you from
doing what you're suppose to
like waking up too early
Tuesday night at DJ's Diner in Pittsford [this is real america, folks], a group of intelligent individuals were discussing language and words that are annoying or ugly. Like 'pop' or 'tremendous.' Aside from those with ugly meanings, what words annoy you?
And, because I finally decided my life needed Picasa and my inner model, here are some pictures. They'll probably be in your next Ralph Lauren catalog. [oh my gosh, i hope none of you actually get the ralph lauren catalog]
alisa and emily
alisa, nick, emily
maybe we could sleep in
i'll make you banana pancakes
pretend that it's the weekend now
ain't no need to go outside
Welcome to Hillsdale, Michigan, where they promised me a white winter. Instead, I get all the dark beauty of a Portland winter without actually being there.
It's been overcast and forty-five for the past week. I've been hit with the homesickness truck a couple of times this week, but I pull out of it surprisingly quickly. Last night it felt good to take a walk in the light mist [portland girl: 70,000 ways to describe rain].
rain all day and i don't mind
I headed over to the State House to be guest of honor at the Corpse Bride party. [because her name is emily too!] Amazing cool movies are even better when you watch them with cool people. Trin and I sat on the couch for half an hour afterwards, our jaws hanging open at the extras. Did you know they made that movie with stop-motion puppets? Skill makes the beautiful even more impressive. I doubt whether I'm talented enough to be in movies. Guess I could always stay in Hillsdale and work at a diner for the rest of my life!
I try not to be too cryptic on this blog, but can you allow me to mention that some people just don't get it? Because they really don't. Although people never change, my latest reaction is to laugh and ignore them. Is that right? Is is okay as long as I don't get angry and let them have it?
baby, you hardly even notice
when i try to show you this song
is meant to keep you from
doing what you're suppose to
like waking up too early
Tuesday night at DJ's Diner in Pittsford [this is real america, folks], a group of intelligent individuals were discussing language and words that are annoying or ugly. Like 'pop' or 'tremendous.' Aside from those with ugly meanings, what words annoy you?
And, because I finally decided my life needed Picasa and my inner model, here are some pictures. They'll probably be in your next Ralph Lauren catalog. [oh my gosh, i hope none of you actually get the ralph lauren catalog]
alisa and emily
alisa, nick, emily
maybe we could sleep in
i'll make you banana pancakes
pretend that it's the weekend now
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