unfaithful...

I have a confession to make.

I have been cheating on my blog. with xanga.

I know, I know. And me being such a blog elitist, too...But it is a relationship that I'm determined to end. Or at least, I'm determined not to neglect my recherche thoughts for a silly old bunch of college quips. It may seem like I have already succumbed to the temptations of xanga, but I really haven't.

Just so you know, I don't actually ever write anything important there. I use it because of the college blogring and my desire to put inside jokes and little comments where other college people can admire them [vanity]. I don't want to waste my time [or yours] on the posts that the larger, grander, more superior world of my blogspot would never understand. So I put them on xanga.

I put things on there for people to see. Here, I spell out the things that I want to write. The things that matter to me. I want to write beauty here, not simply 'this is what i did today' facts. Recherche is saved for the why, the contemplations, the lyrics and poems. Not just what I did this weekend, but why it was such an excellent weekend. I feel like this blog is so superior to the xanga, that I don't want to waste words here.

And I've posted far too many pictures lately. Pictures do not actually take the place of a thousand words. They are just a different type of words.

I know I've said this a thousand times, but I love [good] culture. I love art and music [so. much] and my passions have only grown here in this land-locked, culturally stale place [on the surface. once you get inside, it's not]. I love dressing up and pretending to be as lovely as Grace Kelly. I wish I could spend all summer in the Central Library [studying and reading] and the art galleries and seeing shows downtown [concerts, theatre, symphony. all of it]. Maybe, someday...

think of me, think of me fondly when we've said goodbye
remember me once in a while, please promise me you'll try
if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me

I hope none of you feel replaced by my friends here. You haven't been. My affection for you has only deepened as I grow fonder of them. I think the more one loves, the deeper one can love. They have me every day, nine months a year. They have my mind and actions, but you...you will always have my heart.

there will never be a day when i don't think of you