mockingbird...

I have to admit that it has taken me a little time to adjust to Derek Webb's new cd, Mockingbird.

Lewis says that every substantial discussion has to start at the Creation, but I think I'll just start at Webb's first solo cd. She Must and Shall Go Free, was pretty easy to swollow. It is easier to talk about the things good Christians know: we are bad, Jesus is good. It is easy for us to say 'nobody loves me but You.' We even nod and mutter 'amen' to the line 'the truth is never sexy.' Gosh, we know that! I mean, look at the persecution we face for being Christians in America! [yet how often are we actually just rejected because we're jerks? i know that's the only reason i'm not the most popular person on campus. it has nothing to do with speaking the truth of the gospel - see 1 peter]

We like talking about the broad pictures of Christ setting us free, sanctifying and cleansing us, and viewing the Church as His bride. The love of God is a nice subject for songs. Even if we have to acknowledge that we are helpless, we'd rather talk about redeption than taking up a cross daily and following Jesus. Don't get me wrong: Redeption is important. It is the central message of Christianity, the center of every other discussion of the Christian life. The Gospel is the complete message. We can only understand truth, beauty, life, baptism, art, and evangelism in relationship to the Gospel. Webb does well to center this cd, and those following, on the Gospel. She Must and Shall Go Free is an excellent reminder of Jesus as Savior and Lover.

[insert a review of webb's second cd, I See Things Upside Down, which i haven't heard yet]

Mockingbird presents a little more of a challenge. Webb's music is saturated with the Gospel, yet he sings of the human tendency to remove or ignore the central message of the Cross. His lyrics are a challenge and shocking reminder to evaluate and refocus our lives. Webb himself said this album is about 'God, politics, and social issues.' The sound of the album is smooth and perfect for peaceful background music, but the content fails to go down as easily as the harmony.

One reviewer on amazon writes 'the songs make me think but do not tell me what to think.' I see his point, but disagree. These songs do tell me what to think and what to do: to make Christ's sacrifice and grace an active part of the way I live.

In my Religion class,[love the prof so much i'm contemplating a religion minor] we are discussing various views on the nature of theology. We read an interview with an Orthodox Bishop who presented the idea that theology is not an intellectual discipline, but prayer. I disagree. Good theology will transform all areas of your life, including prayer, but my Western Protestant view is that theology is more of 'head' part of Christianity. It transforms my heart through truth and a correct view of the gospel. If this is true, then Derek Webb is a theologian song writer.

A New Law brought up memories of my past life as a TeenPacter. Though I thought about it a little during my internship, I have become more convinced through college that my knowledge of truth and the Gospel drives my social views, not the other way around. I pray that my work with TeenPact didn't create a population of Republican Robots, but encouraged a generation of intelligent believers. Webb's reverse psychology is striking:
don't teach me about politics and government
just tell me who to vote for
I pray that this year's team of Interns and students would allow the Gospel to drive their various social positions and challenge a generation to act based on truth.

Webb continues:
don't teach me about truth and beauty
just label my music
don't teach me how to live like a free man
just give me a new law

don't teach me about moderation and liberty
i prefer a shot of grape juice
don't teach me about loving my enemies
don't teach me how to listen to the Spirit
just give me a new law

i don't want to know if the answers aren't easy
just bring it down from the mountain for me

I'm so greatful for Professors like my history teacher, Dr. Stewart, who is not afraid to admit that the answers aren't easy, and Professor Bauman, who's passion for a Christ centered life has led him to devote years to unifying the heart and intellect for the Gospel.

I woke up late this morning and attended Bedside Baptist with two sermons from Imago Dei's Rick McKinley. His sermon on Romans I spoke strongly against our tendency to make God in our own image. It is in fact God's mercy which gives us our own desire rather than immediate judgement for our frequent idoltry. I made the connection to Webb's song King & a Kingdom:
there are two great lies i have heard:
"the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die"
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class, republican
and if you want to be saved you have to learn to be like Him

my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a King and a Kingdom

Your belief in Jesus Christ should drive your views on politics, not the other way around. We must keep our focus on the pure Gospel of the Bible in order to keep Christ in His true form. Webb then suggest that our human nature is our true enemy, not those who disagree with us on social or political issues:
but nothing unifies like a common enemy
and we've got one, sure as hell
but he may be living in your house
he may be raising up your kids
he may be sleeping with your wife
oh no, he may not look like you think

Rich Young Ruler is a powerful [and convicting] reminder of the ease which materialism supercedes the Gospel in our lives. What would you do if Jesus really called you to give up everything you own, everything you've worked for? What would I do? But Webb insists it's even more than a charity donation:
He says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can't give me

Webb finishes strong with Love is Not Against the Law, a thoughtful encouragement to the greatest of three abiding virtues. I need this right now, as I'm faced once again with close contact with an individual who brings up memories of Oklahoma. [apparently, i didn't learn anything there, because my attitude hasn't been very graceful this time, either]

If you want some easy listening, I'd suggest Nickel Creek, as always. But if you want some easy listening melody with plenty of hard core theology, buy yourself some Derek Webb. I also suggest adding this duo to your library.

The race is not to the swift, my friends. It's not to the mindless Mockingbirds.
It's a steady, constant focus on the main thing: the Gospel of Christ crucified, risen, and glorified.

recipe for a perfect thursday...

[we'll pretend that i didn't have to touch a mealworm with my bare hands in biology lab this morning and that i don't have to sit next to the ever-taking annoying girl in class]

Prep: work extra hours on monday and wednesday so you don't have to work thursday.

-Get a box from home complete with blueberries [in a jar?] and quarters for laundry
-Make yourself a good, healthy lunch [spices!]
-Catch up on current events by reading an entire World mag while eating lunch
-Sit by a big window and let the sun reflect of the snow
-1.5 hours of Ballet I with a good friend
-Giggle at the jock boys in the class
-1.5 hours of Modern, starting with relaxation and sweet music
-Walk home through a snowy wood
-Breathe deeply
-Long, hot shower
-Hot beverage while more reading next to sunny window
-Variety in Saga equals above average dinner. Chinese night!
-InverVarsity Crossroads
-Light homework
-Watch a couple episodes House with Hannah and Mary
-Finish a third scarf
-Sleep

Modern Dance alone will save you millions of dollars of therapy, massage, chiropractic adjustments, and a personal trainer. I'm so in love.

flying solo...

Another semester is flying by. I've been gone from Portland for a week, yet it seems like a lifetime. Leaving is never easy. The four months stretching out ahead of me seem long, but I know they will be behind me soon. Whether I'll return to this place next fall is somewhat precarious, but for the first time I'm confident that I'd survive two more years of Hillsdale. I'm torn in two, yet peaceful. Everything looks good with the advisor, so financial aid at UP is the last obstacle.

There have been a few changes to good ol' McIntyre 202.

For the first time in twenty years, I have my own room. Aubrey moved across the hall and the wise administration decided to woo me with the charms of a single. Sadly, I'm forbidden from moving the furniture, but the extra bed has been christened my "study couch" [it's right by the window. yesterday was warm enough to open it up and get some fresh air to go with my american lit] You're free to visit anytime. I've diffused my life to fill a space the size of my living room. Oh, and I have a drawer just for socks. [talk about being spoiled]

The first few nights were rather strange. The presence of another person's stuff, even if that person isn't ever in the room before you go to sleep, is oddly comforting. Maybe I'm more fearful of the dark, knowing it's only my own insecurities who can jump out at me. I fall asleep with my ipod every night. [still the best thing i've ever bought]

I also have been given a tv. Haven't really used it much, but anytime you want to watch Jeopardy or the Food chanel, come on down.

Aside from the extra drawer space, I was presented with the gift twice as much wall space. Enough pictures exist to scrapbook the wall, but since college is the time for fulfilling your dreams, I figured I might as well do something productive...

I'm opening an art gallery.

I have been hunting for the perfect name [aside from 'the speckled dot,' which sounds like a pub. or a chicken] not too many have been submitted. So, I'm here to announce the great

NAME THAT GALLERY contest.
[runs through january 30th]
grand prize: lifetime season pass to all exhibits
runner up: a fudgesicle

Having a single room means that I'm in here less frequently. I'm up the hill in class [for the first time, i actually like them!] or work all day and I've been spending evenings with friends or studying. [or being addicted to 'house, md.' hugh laurie is amazing] I'm also finding it easy to distance myself from my computer. Remember how tied I was to it first semester? I've hardly been online at all, comparatively. I miss blogging, but this week I've needed to settle back in here.

I've been reading The Cross Centered Life by CJ Mahaney and listening to Derek Webb's new cd. Talk about being challenged. I'd like to do a quotes/lyrics post soon, if you'll actually read it.

Send me a letter.

Right now I feel like I live half of my non-class/work time in the dance studio. It'll probably be that way til the end of March, after the Highland performance. I'm there four to five hours a week, plus two ballet I sections, ballet II, and modern.

This afternoon I baked a funfetti cake. With sprinkles.

Starting a new semester is confusing. In some ways, you're completely starting over. Friends change and join sororities, but others don't. You fade in and out of people's lives, despite living within feet of them. Classes change, but you still have homework. One drama ends, only to be replaced with the opportunity for another. There's still nothing good on television.

Forget this whole 'reinvention' idea and just grow.

i'll fly away...

I love you, PDX wireless!
I love you, rainy days!
I love you, knitting projects I'm leaving behind!
I love you, fam and friends!
I love you, little fried shrimp! [mewah, mewah, mewah]

[goodbye again, portland]

Thanks to Montana the Elk, Fritz the Mountain Goat, and Joel the Maynard, I'm once again a resident of McIntyre 202.

post holiday...

Why do I schedule flights so early in the morning? Haven't I learned by now that when my flight leaves at 6:20 AM, I get no sleep the night before? But when does one ever sleep when facing a four month journey into the Tundra? I am excited to see my girls, however. The prospect of having my own room is slightly lonely sounding, but also kind of nice. We'll see what sort of trouble I can cause...

Starbucks has stopped serving my extra-hot, non-fat lattes in cheery red cups. Somehow, that makes me really sad. I think they tasted better out of those holiday cups. I guess this means Christmas is really over and school is really starting once again. It's funny, because I was thinking about my future the other day and predicted that I would be one of those people eternally in school. There are so many more things I want to study besides English: business, languages, art, film, history... I'm going to get my degree and still take summer classes. Ha!

Yesterday, I was running errands and ended up wandering downtown all by myself. It was kind of nice. It had rained hard all morning, but the sun was shining on the wet pavement and dripping trees. The people here really are amazing to see. I passed businessmen coiffured in the style of Richard Gere, a homeless woman, a posse of Emo youth, normal college students, and touristy-shoppers. It's strange, because I feel safer down here than in the streets of Hillsdale. The coffee shops, the architecture, the weather, the people...Not that I won't travel the world and live in other cities, but Portland will always be in my blood.

I've got this city under my skin.

oldest of friends...

Today, my oldest and dearest of friends, Milicent, came to spend the afternoon! She "helped" me clean my room, clean out a drawer, and pack up a suitcase for Saturday's return to the Tundra. Which mostly meant she laid on my bed and made me laugh and think all day.

Then, while cleaning out previously mentioned junk drawer and old makeup, we made an amazing discovery: one of the most hideous colors of lipstick ever.

It's like Gwen Stefani meets Lisa Frank.

"why grandmother, what bug eyes you have"
"why grandmother, look how many teeth you have..."

Actually, we already are supermodels!
I will miss her so much!

baby time...

Have I mentioned my other honorary nephew?
Last night and this morning, I got to spend some time with the ever adorable and wise Mrs. Larissa Taylor and her seven month old baby!

me and micah hudson

yes, his eyes really are this big and beautiful!
yes, my smile really is this big and cheesy!

happy anniversary...

one year ago, we added the first spouse to our little intern family.

congrats to michael and stephanie garvey! [forever and always, you guys were made for each other]
two years ago, i started an adventure with twelve amazing people.

hoorah for the 2004 intern team! [always and forever]
i just had to post this picture, because it's so hilarious to me. i will always remember that night we sat on the floor for hours and talked. we all look so different now [except jose, maybe].

joe, garrison, emily, lily [i will remember you]

out on the town...

Tonight I introduced two adorable country girls to important parts of my beautiful city: the Pearl and 23rd street. We had some good laughs, good food, and adored a lot of cute stuff like shoes, couches, dishes, and lamps. Basically, if it's brown, green, blue, square, or rounded, it's good.

cassandra, holly, and emily
In other news, you can find the coolest stuff on sale at the beginning of January.

"Of course I have a secret identity. You think I go to the grocery store like this?"

"honey! where's my super suit? the world is in danger!"
"my evening is in danger!"

new year, same faces...

Welcoming in 2006!

awwwww. abbie and emily

sparkling cider in a flower vase. you wish you had thought of such a classy idea.

Among the things we toasted:
-flowers
-journalling in starbucks
-cute boys who journal in starbucks
-whispering in front of people
-amygrace
-my mom
-toasting
-2006
-and the rest are secrets.