artsy monday...

The rain makes funny patterns as it collects on my screen. I can remember playing with water on screens when I was younger.

Sometimes when I look out my window I can almost pretend I'm in an entirely different place.

That and the rain and Quartetto Gelato make me want to collage. Artistic days make artistic projects happen.

for stephanie...

These boots are made for wearing.

addition by subtraction...

I am alive and well and thriving. The trees are changing color, but the days are still beautiful. It's just over two weeks til Fall Break in Northern MI. I'm down to one class on MWF and two on TTh, so I have plenty of time to work and read and enjoy people and watch foreign movies and work out. But, apparently, I don't have enough time to blog. Basically, I'm just sick of the Internet right now.

I think about a lot of things, but I'd rather talk about them with people in real life. I'm especially into Flannery O'Connor and the importance of Incarnation and Art. I love where I live [and who i live with], where I go to church [and what we're studying], and I love The Office [episodes are now on nbc.com]. Hillsdale is challenging. Education is amazing. Life is good. I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing after school, but I have a lot of ideas. It's kind of fun and a little scary to have my future this wide open, but I know that ultimately, someone much more capable holds my future in His hands.

I'm also happy to announce a new addition to my life:

My 20gb 4th generation ipod ceased to function sometime last winter. But now, thanks to key bank, I have a brand new 4gb 3rd generation video ipod nano. In keeping with the Greek theme, I've named her Iphigenia. Naturally, she's going by Ginny. Iphigenia was the daughter Agamemnon sacrificed to Artemis on the way to Troy. Like a good personality test, I'm not exactly sure what it means, but I'm sure it's something. Plus, I am still pretty into HP and "Ginny the Mini ipod" had a nice ring to it. And no, I don't bring her to the pool.

the non-human parts of my life...

I bought Wellies! They are amazing. I've always dreamed of being like Ramona. Now I'm just praying for rain [but not during the garden party tomorrow night...]!

My new curtains, which [un]fortunantly allow me to sleep past 7:15am. My windows face east and northeast. Please note everything important on my desk: nalgene, phone, sunglasses, cd, sewing kit, lamp from joel, letter to my mom...

My class schedule this semester: Steinbeck Independent Study, History of Christian Thought I, The War on Terror, Flannery O'Connor/Walker Percy and the Modern Predicament, and History of Modern Art.

down with authenticity...

au·then·tic (ô-thěn'tĭk) adj.
Conforming to fact and therefore worthy of trust, reliance, or belief. Having a claimed and verifiable origin or authorship; not counterfeit or copied. The quality of being real. Undisputed credibility.

trans·form [trans-fawrm] verb (used with object)
To change in form, appearance, or structure; metamorphose. To change in condition, nature, or character; convert. To change into another substance; transmute.

In a world [nation, school, community] where appearances reign supreme, I've often been frustrated by the lack of authenticity among my peers. In my own attempts to be honest and straightforward, I've recieved mixed results. Frankly, a lot of people just aren't willing to be genuine about what matters, who they really are, etc.

After discovering five minutes before I had to leave for church that all my expected rides actually had gone home this weekend, I decided to pull up an old podcast from Imago Dei. Since Countryside, my church here in Michigan is starting Romans today, I listened to the first part of Rick McKinley's Romans series. I appreciate that he is hardcore about the gospel, doesn't ignore historical/biblical/theological truth, but will still say "butt" from the pulpit. Something he said early on stuck in my head for the rest of the message: Christianity isn't about authenticity, it's about transformation.

And he's right. Too often my focus has been on being authentic rather than being transformed by [as derek webb puts it] "this rare relentless grace." Frankly, authenticity is self-focused. Being who I am is actually lame, because without Christ, it doesn't matter how genuine I am. I genuinely suck. If that's all that I am to people, the real sinful me, I'd be repulsed too! Self-discovery isn't the end all.

Unlike authenticity, transformation has to be Jesus-focused. You have to concentrate on the thing you want to become like. A caterpillar doesn't focus on being a credible worm [at least i don't think he does. i'm an english major, not a biologist]. Authenticity is a limited, immediate state of being. Transformation is an active, continual process of grace. Authenticity is about me. Transformation is about Jesus.

Perhaps it's just one stop on the road. You have to begin by being real about who you are without Christ. But after that, it should no longer be your focus. Being yourself isn't the point. Jesus is. Being like Him is who you were really meant to be. Transformation is your most authentic state of being.

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. [galations 2:20]

i'm baaaaaaack...

Being a Senior is ridiculously amazing. It's more so because it obviously wasn't very important in high school. I love more than just being at the top of the food chain: the opportunity to interact with some fantastic fellow students [student fed representative], faculty [senior class officers], and professors [dr victor david hanson, dr reist, etc]. I love being in the groove of leadership and responsibility. I have come to love this campus and my education so dearly; it's wonderful to understand a little better and give a little back. I'm reminded once again that my education is priceless and something far more important than the $100,000 piece of paper I'll be handed in May. I'm more involved and busy than ever, but I love it.

looking acrosss the front quad towards kendall [we've mostly had constant crazy storms, but managed to get in a couple of beautiful august days]

my other halves, hannah and christine [library constuction]

making history at the senior party: amy, emily, and christine [please note our amazing senior t-shirts]

partying like rock stars with my suitemate maria and my [american?] idol natalie. they sing opera and make everyone laugh with ridiculous stories

i'm so hollow, baby...

i am at the airport, after saying goodbye to these people:

at the beach, i taught my family to play "Bang," my new favorite game.

my dad dropped his gross hat on my head.

"andrea, everybody wants to be us."

providing entertainment for amtrack riders at the train station.

life in a suitcase...

Packing is old hat. But I'm so tired of it. I actually started before 10 pm this time, but I think it's mostly because I am so terribly sick of it. It's just boring. I feel like just leaving all my clothes behind because I'm in an apathetic mood [not about life or most things, just packing].

Perhaps I'll be more philosphical about senior year on airport wireless tomorrow morning...Oh, wait, I forgot, senior year is all about apathy! I'm right on schedule.

Tonight, I breathe in my last breaths of Portland summer evening air and take in sights that I'll see next in the rain.

Graduation is nine months from today.

retirement...

Contrary to blogging opinion, I have been doing other things than reading this summer. I am, however, in a stage [an extended period of time] where living my life and then blogging about it seem to be contradictory. It should not always be so. It will not always be so. But it is right now. [mili, is it okay to have a longish post if i use short paragraphs?]

Milicent suggested the other day [on one of our many lovely excursions this summer. short time spans increase desperate meetings] that perhaps I just need something to catch my fancy and blog about it. Thus proceeding with eyes wide open [i just spelled it wyde. totally not right. i dyspyse excessive and improper "y for i" exchanges], I have found my occasion to speak. [to speak in font rather than sounds]

Yesterday evening, I retired my old blue Nalgene. I've been thinking about a Powell's Lit one for a long time [not copying you, mili, i swear] and since I'm embarrassed to say how old my blue Nalgene is, [i got it while i was working at bibo, though] I decided it was time for an upgrade.

We won't go into my strange affinity for objects [or rotating footwear so no shoes feel left out], but I felt kind of sad thinking about all the things Ol' Blue has gotten me through. Milicent gave me the Billabong sticker, the first one to lose its suedey feel and become a dirty grey blob, and Danielle sent me the big one when she competed in the Jr. Olympics. It had the logo on it at one time. It got me through my internship, road trips, and subsequent college classes in Hillsdale and Portland [spanish last summer]. It travelled full on planes to keep me hydrated, and now lies mournfully dry through airport screening due to new security regulations. Blue has spilled awkwardly down the front of a lot of my clothes and surprised me with strangely glacial rushes of ice.

But now, with stickers faded and so many scratches that it never actually feels clean [no matter how much soap i use or the frequency of application], I feel that it's time to retire. Blue had a good run. [it's strange that my constantly closest objects never get names?] So please, enjoy a moment of silence and raise your own Nalgenes everywhere to the old and the new.

With only a week left in my Portland summer time, expect frantic errands, as much time with people and away from computers as possible, and one melancholy "senior year packing" blog.

a summer of books...

an update on most of my current summer life. completed books are in italics. please inquire for top picks from previous years.

[2007]
The Road [cormac mccarthy] - 287
Independence Day [richard ford] - 451
The Girl Who Married a Lion [alexander mccall smith] - 174
The Moviegoer [walker percy] - 241
The Size of Thoughts: essays [nicholson baker] - 355
A Moveable Feast [ernest hemingway] - 211
Dandelion Wine [ray bradbury] - 237
The Bingo Palace [louise erdrich] - 274
Fatherland [robert harris] - 338
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows [j.k. rowling] -753
Housekeeping [marilyn robinson]
Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix [j. k. rowling]
The Crossing [cormac mccarthy]
Total Abandon [gary witherall]
Are Women Human? [dorothy sayers]
The Lay of the Land [richard ford]
A Soldier of the Great War [mark helprin]
Daisy Miller [henry james]
Nebraska [ron hansen]
Heir to the Glimmering World [cynthia ozick]
Complete Short Stories [flannery o'connor]