spending...

I've written more than one half post in the past week. Unfortuantly, whenever I find a few minutes to reutrn and present the other half, I am completely lost and unable to complete whatever thoughts were on my mind.

I recieved a letter in the mail today from my Favorite, and she encouraged me [like she always does] to be waste my life just existing. To live and to exist are two very different things. Are you living?

I think I'm living right now. I'm physically drained and exhausted, but I'm so spiritually and emotionally full. Jesus is not a feeling, my friends. A relationship with Him means so much more. Higher, deeper, stronger.

We're ten days from opening night of production, I seriously have more homework than is physically possible to complete [all those other times i've told you that, i was probably lying and just being a slacker. this time i'm not kidding], I really need to sleep sometime soon or I'm going to completely crash and be worthless for several days, but I'm strangely happy. And it's not even the "i don't care anymore" happy. It's real happy. And it doesn't make sense.

i am ruined for this world
for none compares to you my Lord
for you have captured me
completely captured me

Yesterday afternoon, I needed to take a break from homework, but I couldn't justify sleeping [i need to start justifying more sleep. any suggestions?] so I started a mad cleaning of my room. [i'm pretty much obsessive compulsive about cleaning our fridge. which is a good thing] Little did I know that I would find...treasure!

A box of crayons, hastily and impulsively
brought from home, never used.
A blank piece of paper.
Sunday afternoon dreams.

Aside from a relationship with Jesus, I recommend crayons. [Though, I did have one question... why does my purple crayon say "violet (purple)" on it? Does Mr. Crayola think that I won't know that violet is purple? And if so, why did he even bother to write both names? Why didn't he just call it "purple" in the first place?]

It's officially nineteen days until I return to my homeland. And though it is true [shock - i'm admitting it] that I really do live in Michigan eight months out of the year [home is where your toothbrush is, right wendy?], I will always, always be a Portland girl: rain, coffee, and mountains are all I need. [i'll admit, this white stuff is pretty fun too, though. there's rumor of six to ten inches over the next twenty-four hours, and at the rate it's currently coming down, it'll happen]

the inherent power of the Holy Spirit is yours to spend. spend it all.