wondering...again

it's a long story...they frequently are. i don't even really understand it, yet. who knows if i ever will, or if this story, like others will just fade into a shadow. it probably will. it lacks a satisfying conclusion, but, like the "lady and the tiger" story that has puzzled and annoyed me for years, i'm not sure what about exactly what conclusion could possibly satisfy me.

the questions i'm left with are:

is all of life really this dramatic?

or is it just me...again?

perfectly dreary...

It's raining outside, and it feels positively northwestern. The leaves are soggy and no longer have that satisfying crunch. The umbrellas are out in full force here in Michigan, but don't worry, I'm resisting the temptation. I'm a Portland girl all the way, and I always will be.

The only way this friday could be better is if I was sitting in Torre with you all day, sipping lattes and talking about saving the world through our super hero powers.
We'd walk over to Bibo and grab a sandwhich and some soup, probably, but I would spend most of the day listening to the sound of the rain and the sound of your voice. We'd laugh at eachother's stories and enjoy that fellowship that humans can have because of Christ's sacrifice and love. We'd watch the people rushing by and coming in for their hardcore italian coffee, and comment about society. We'd pray and talk about the serious things in life, and then be as silly as ever.

*sigh* It would be perfect.

i can't stop the rain
from falling down on you again
and i can't stop the rain
but i will hold you til it goes away

Here's to my dreams.

it's just me...

You can tell a lot about someone by looking at their bookshelves.

In my room at home, there are several of these pieces of furniture, positively straining at the literary load. In fact, if I had it my way, I probably wouldn't have anything else in my bedroom except bookshelves full of books, and a couch on which to lounge and read them.

The very top shelf of the tallest bookcase is reserved for my most prized posessions, my literary treasures. The contents have varied slightly over the years, but not too much. I've added and subtraced, but the general rule is that this shelf is always to the limit with favorites. When I need to relax with a book, my eyes look first to that top shelf.

A copy of The Princess Bride looks like a neon porcupine; the pages are filled with brightly colored post-it notes marking key passages.

Ella Enchanted is also well read; I take it down and it occupies my brain for an hour or two when I'm in need of a romantic, yet good story. (i wish i could claim many of ella's words as my own. and her handsome prince char, of course!)

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes stands as an ancient and stately contrast to several Calvin and Hobbes and Foxtrot collections.

What Katy Did reminds me to be good and grown up; in contrast, Brian Jacques' beautiful story, Mossflower, reminds me that I will never be too grown up for a good fantasy novel about heroic mice and an evil wildcat queen.

There's plenty of work from good ol' England. To the right, you'll see my collection of Agatha Christies, (tommy and tuppence adventures are always entertaining.) and Wodehouses. (Piccadilly Jim and Bachelor's Anonymous are forever favorites.)

Now, do you see that shorter, bright blue book on the left? Next to The Hobbit? Yeah, that one. This whole post is about that book. Why is a children's book on the top shelf? Well, look

at the title...

I don't really have any memories before It's Just Me, Emily. I don't know when or how I got it. I'm not sure if I was the inspiration for the book, or if the book inspired me to be who I am. But in its dozen or so pages, this book manages to describe 'Emelina age 4,' perfectly. The pictures even look like me. (and dang, i was cute then!) The story is simple, but has a great rhythm. I'll give you an excerpt.

splish, splash, slip, slosh, swish, swash,

"is that a porpoise in the tub? or maybe a hippopotamus?

or a fat old walrus splashing about and pushing all the water out?"

"no, it's just me, emily."

from behind the chair comes a happy sound, a voice softly singing, "tra loo, tra lay, oh happy day"

now what could be singing tra loo, tray lay? would a bird sing, 'oh happy day?'

"i suppose it might be an elf," mother says, "or a fairy."

"no mama, no, it's just me, emily."

Why this peek into my childhood? Why do you care? This book still describes me today. It's kind of always been a motto for me. I've always been my own person. (it's not necessarily the best thing, because I can be a pretty horrible 'my own person,' sometimes) I fancy myself as fairly independent. Heck, in some circles, I've even built my reputation on being mysterious and elusive. I can follow the crowd, sure, but I still don't exactly fit in. I like being myself. I am happiest when I'm not trying to please other people or change my personality to fit the situation. I enjoy being different.

The Apostle Paul is very clear that we should put others above ourselves, and never act in any way that would cause someone to stumble. But, it's also important to remember that God is glorified most when we enjoy Him and the way He has made us. Change yourself for God, sure. Become more like Him, enjoy Him more. But don't ever change yourself to get approval from humans.

I'm not one of those people that is constantly being accused of being a reminder of another person. I don't blend in with the cookie-cutter hotties group. But I like that. I don't want to blend in and be noticed, yet just as quickly forgotten.

I don't need perfect hair or trendy clothes to define me. I like the fact that I'm rather indefinable. I don't need to be told that I look like Jennifer Aniston or even your gorgeous ex-girlfriend in order to be confident. I'm proud of the fact that I find my self-worth in Christ. I don't need a snappy nickname or a fancy present to solidify our friendship. Just call me up sometime, or we'll meet for some coffee. *shrugs* I'm not too picky. But don't expect anything extraordinary.

I'm just me...Emily.

weekend roundup...

Well, so much for that nap that I said I was going to take right now. Despite the fact that I was returned to my dorm room at nearly 3am and had Understanding Theatre at 9am, (and only almost fell asleep once, at the very end of class) I'm strangely unable to sleep right now. sigh. As soon as I get back from English (ugh!), I have promised myself that the rest of my day is going to be completely taken up with a frenzied study of the greek language.

I shall have to post a lovely description of my fall break later. (several interesting road trips, shopping, murder mystery dinner theatre, church, sleeping, not sleeping, c.s. lewis, arabic cooking and dancing, concerts, etc.) At the moment, the only way to describe my extended weekend is with the words of Galadriel, "hope remains, while company is true."

'I, er...have things to do. I've put this off for far too long. I regret to announce that this is the end. I'm going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye.' *vanishes*

outclassed once again...

I have already mentioned the creative talents of my brother, Jonathan, age twelve. Once again, he appears on the scene with a presentation. It is complete with a note to me, his awed editor, and a very detailed pencil map drawn on the back of a Saxon math lesson. (he got all the math problems correct, too! good lad!)

Since it was rather lengthy, I shall only post a few of the word highlights. I must preface this letter with the knowledge that Henry is the main character in my brother's epic. The tale began out of a good dose of classic fantasy novels (that does not include the harry potter books, actually) and has materialized into various Lego creations, and now is being processed on paper. Potential galore.

Dear Emily,
I told you I would tell you how Henry was doin' so I will. Well, right now he's over his head with bullies, twins, brothers, monsters, griffins, vampires, were-wolves, were-goblins, leprachauns, spiders, trolls, clock towers, wizards, dragons, giants, swords, sleds, friends, foes, books, bags, knights, heirs, caves, castles, giants snowballs, falcons, owls, snakes, dogs, shrevels, and bears (oh my!). [the child has learned of 'the comma!!' horray!]
Here is a list of most of the characters and their backrounds and what part they play in the story.

Heroes
Henry Stotter: hard life, nice kid, and main character
Harold McGriffin: apprenticed to a magician, he is a wiz at everything
Kyle Jefferson: big family, good friend, kind, and courageous
Taylor Jefferson: little brother of Kyle, ready to help whenever he can
Larry Littol: the leprechaun mischieveous, green clothed, Henry catched him and a pot of gold he gets (henry gets the pot of gold).

Evil
[i'm eliminating this, unless you all complain and then i'll add it. it's rather lengthy, and contains a list of baddies, their evil habits and places of living, etc.]

Creatures
Fiff the Foff: five foot long weasel like monsters who live in caves and thick forests, foffs have the ability to change their size, depending on the foff they can grow to ten feet or shrink to one foot, they tend to be evil and wicked.
Shirvin the Shrevel: an amazing little creature shrevels are generally friendly, kind beings, although they have been known to attack when threatened. These peaceful creatures stand from six inches to two feet. Shrevels are very magical, fun living, furry, happy, and cute.

Emily I hope you liked this letter and it didn't bore you to death. Sorry I couldn't think of something real to say.
Jonny

ps I'll talk about the actual story of Henry next time.
pps maybe i'll send a picture to drew to.
ppps oh! i almost forgot enclosed is a map i drew of the evil area.
pppps see if you can find all the baddies houses stores and hideouts.
ppppps i miss you, write back soon.
pppppps bye.
ppppppps really
pppppppps I have nothing more to say.
ppppppppps really really.
Jonny

Isn't that great? I can hardly wait for the next letter....

we interrupt this greek study session...

Please pay attention. What I have to say will save hundreds of thousands of people much grief in the years to come. It will also save you from having to deal with the guilt of knowing you have caused the insanity and/or horrible deaths of countless individuals. (and gpas)

This is more than a request. It is a plea. It is a requirement.

This is a personal note to anyone out there who is creating a language.

1. Please actually have a good reason for everything. I am sick of hearing, "There is no reason. It just is."

2. Please write down your actual good reasons in detail. I am tired of hearing, "Well, if you can find a 5th century Greek to ask them, let me know, cause I'd like to talk to them. Until then, just deal with the fact that 'it just is.'"

3. Please be consistent. I am frustrated by constantly reading, "However, not all adjectives decline in the usual manner. Many of them randomly end in -eismv, -azsxui, -gkfllka, or -lakdufi. You can't tell by looking at them whether they are normal, or any one of the 28 sub non-normal categories. And still more add several letters that do not exist in English. They don't even exist in Greek. But these 4,002 adjectives decline this way. So please have them all memorized by...one hour ago. There will be a test."

4. Please listen to me as I repeat number 3. IRREGULAR IS NOT AN OPTION.

5. Please do not give the same word multiple meanings and applications that can only be deciphered if you have the human brain capabilities of Enigma. I am despairing at the words, "The preposition 'en' (not to be confused with the noun 'en,' or the verb 'en,' or the adjective 'enusattopon') used with the genitive indicative neuter case means 'yes,' but when it is used with the neuter indicative genitive plural case means 'maybe.' Also, if it is used in conjunction with an article, which also happens to be 'en' it means 'probably not.' On Tuesdays or the first, second, and forth Mondays of months ending in Y in modern English or having an even number of letters in the aincent names, 'en' means either 'no,' or 'definitely not.'"

6. Please, in case I have not mentioned this before, BE CONSISTENT. I am considering becoming suicidal upon hearing, "'oi agathos anthropos' means 'the men are good' as does 'anthropos oi agathos,' 'agathos oi anthropos,' 'hikous are awesome' and 'you are a french guinea pig.' But whichever one you use when translating from English to this language, you will use the wrong one and be beheaded. Or worse, your gpa will be taken to the Quad and publicly executed by slow ingestion of multiple principle parts of the second aorist. And then we will send the (small amount of) remains to your mom. Because you're obviously not trying hard enough, stupid."

7. Please do not bother with accents. I am considering cussing at the sound of, "Accents could go on one of the last three syllables, and they usually do, except for third declension alternate irregular imperfect adjectives ending in -qalinagaiosuuson, or anything that might have an invisible principle part. Those are called Coordinates, (not to be confused with second or first declension predicates or prepositional phrases containing no more than three vowels, which are also called Coordinates) and the accent can go any place except where you will invariably put it. If you put it there, it will be wrong and you will be beheaded. Or worse, your gpa will be taken to the quad...etc."

8. Please DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER USING ANY PHRASE THAT BEINGS WITH OR CONTAINS THE WORD 'except..." EXCEPTIONS ARE NOT ALLOWED UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY FORBIDDEN. IS THAT CLEAR?

Now, there will be a form quiz on this list of rules. But before I let you take it, let me remind you that I am a nice, fair, and even extra gracious teacher, (you have obviously had plenty of time to prepare) even though if you get anything wrong you will be publicly proclaimed a 'stupid moron who obviously didn't even try to learn anything,' I will allow you one phone call before your gpa is violently distroyed in a glorious public display.

But, only if you can list all the post-active noun forms in the third declension...

Happy Tropical Greek Print Friday, All!

looking back - vol I...

I'm finally ready to write the rundown of the three major events of my summer: the trip of a lifetime, rachel's visit, and johndavid's trip to Oregon.

Yes, I do realize that it is currently a full week into October, and my summer officially ended on August 20 when I left for school... It almost seems pointless to talk about now, but I'm in the mood to remember some of the great times. This is kinda more for my own personal entertainment, but I shall try to make it as interesting as possible for those who were not directly involved in these lovely events. It seems like so long ago...I should probably start at the beginning of my year with my internship, because I haven't written about that yet, but I think I'll go in reverse chronological order...

JohnDavid 'Skunk' Thompson came to visit for ten days at the beginning of August. The best part was, of course, that his visit was a secret to most of our friends. JohnDavid became an honorary member of our speech club at this year's national tournament, but, as he currently resides in Georgia, one would not expect him to show up for the end of the year Rainmaker's party. It was so fun to surprise everyone! I think he got a pretty good taste of my beautiful Oregon in ten days. About as good as you can get in that small amount of time, actually. They went to the coast without me, because I had to work, but we did get to spend a lot of time just hanging out with some really amazing people.

On the first day, Steph, Jordan, Skunk and I drove up to Mt Hood as to share the experience of REAL mountains, and took a historical detour to slide down "Laurel Hill," a key point on the Oregon Trail route. Such homeschoolishness, ha.

Of course, we had to spend an insane amount of time at Starbucks. We met various groups of friends there and enjoyed many a caffeinated concoction. Of course, since we all love to talk, we discussed an assortment philosophy, love, politics, the Bible, Christianity, entertainment, art (what is art? *grin*) and plans for the future...

I could go on forever, so instead I will simply post a list of specific memories...

*playing hoopala at 6:30 AM. for at least 2 hours. (a tradition that began at a starbucks in richmond, va, of all places)

*the day spent driving up the gorge with steph, michael, and johndavid. good pictures. good times.

*herman the giant sturgeon at the fish hatchery. and the cat on a leash. and having a water fountain fight.

*missing johndavid's head. 'see, she can't hit you!' and then hitting his head so hard it hit the window. oops. don't know my own strength! *grin*

*homemade oreo ice cream at the glaser's house. it's never something to miss!

*'the candidate's new groove' - a political spoof on the presidential campaigns. cast include the skunk as john 'f' kerry and jordan as john 'he said hey y'all' edwards, will glaser as george 'don't buy heinz ketchup' bush, myself as teresa 'scary beyond all reason' heinz kerry, and steph as the investigative reporter.

*seeing 'the terminal' with steph and johndavid. 'do you ever feel like you live in an airport?'

*talking to mark drye on the phone, and realizing once again just how much our military personnel deserve our prayer and support.

*watching the sun set from the top of the katu news building. then going down to the news studio and getting to play and take pictures. ('where's my hairspray?' 'tell me about your book...' *blows kisses and waves* 'today, we will learn how to mince!')

*going on an oneonta falls gorge hike with jd, dayne, nathan, and the other emily. rock climbing. snowmelt freezing cold water. being lord of the rings characters. the cave man.

*spending time with the two 'most-awesome-outside-of-my-own' families, the cools and the glasers. such godly, generous, hospitable, and encouraging people, and i am so thankful for them!

slightly confused...

I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me, but I feel very...disoriented. Probably the lack of sleep and excess of coffee, Em. Oh, right. That must be it.

For some reason, I haven't been able to remember what day it is. I have settled into a pretty good pattern, and so I usually don't even think about what classes I have happening on a particular day, it's automatic. I put the correct books in my backpack, and walk up the hill to class.

For some reason, this week hasn't been like that. I was walking to English class this afternoon, and almost went back to my room thinking that I must have the wrong day or class or something. Don't you just hate it when you have that horrible feeling that you've forgotten something important, but can't remember what it is?

High praise goes to the Star for "Alphabet Soup." A must read for everyone. Someday you'll read her books to your children.

Anyway, the two big events of the week (english midterm on monday and 2000 word theatre critique due today...they both went really well, though, and i actually had fun writing the critique. ask me about theatre lighting design!) are past, and now I can sit back and relax and wait for the lovely 4 day weekend to come! At least, that's what I should be able to do...but instead I guess I will memorize 30 Greek words, take a test on The Visit, translate a boatload of Greek sentences, practice accenting Greek verbs, Bible study, read Oedipus the King, look at some more bridemaid dresses online, try to figure out for sure whether or not I'm going home with Jess for the weekend, return Joel's camera that I've been borrowing for too long, go to dinner, and volunteer at Art for Creative Minds tonight.

More coffee, anyone?

the secret is out...

ladies and gents, I am insanely excited to announce the formal engagement of two of my very dear friends.

I've known Michael for a long time (we had many an argument as children. grrrr. but we're more tolerant now), and Stephanie for almost as long, (the first thing she wrote in my autograph book was 'i used to think you were weird, but now i think you're nice.' and it's only gone up from there)

I am so honored to know both of them, and be a part of this exciting time in their lives! The wedding is likely to happen early January. (!!)

A toast! To my two good friends, Forever and Always, you guys are perfect for eachother...

yes, but can you get it at sears?

This one is for all my still unattached friends out there...and apparently, the number of you to which this applies is dropping very rapidly...

My opinion on the subject can still be summed up by the ever-popular quote by Elizabeth Knopp, 'who needs a man when you've got a pillow?!'

For all people, attached and unattached, you must listen to some Wisechild. They are impressive enough that I think I'm going to invest in their cd. Which, on my budget, means that I think they're pretty good.

Still dancing around singing 'i know a seeeeeeeecreeeeeeeeeeet!'