why i smile...

[today in indy...]

I like airports.

I miss living in them nearly every weekend. [sometimes]

I like sitting here on the floor in the hall near security, watching the people watch me as they walk past, headed who knows where. Mostly, I just see their shoes. I think you can tell a lot about a person by viewing them from the knees down. Their choice of footwear, the way they walk...

Some of them ignore me as they walk past, but some smile at me or look wonderingly at the strange looking brown haired girl [me] sitting [precariously] on a ramp, because that's the only place she could find to plug in her computer. One lady even grins at me and says "they should put those outlets in more concenient places! I [smile and] nod in agreement, but secretly, I think that I like having to sit inconveniently on the floor in odd places.

As I see the feet passing in front of me, I wonder about the people. I wonder what they're thinking. I wonder where they're going. I wonder who they're leaving and who they're meeting. I wonder if they know Jesus like I do. I'm getting poetic.

I'm wondering who I'll meet on the plane, though my current vow to be a friendly chatter will probably vanish as soon as I place my bag under the seat and sit down. [well, i would have talked, but she slept most of the flight, and i slept the rest]

I can't stop smiling. I want the world to know that I'm going home for an entire month. It's only a month, though... I hear whispers in my head, but I fight off that devil with an even more deliberate smile. My cheeks hurt. I'm going to hug my family, sleep in my own bed, and spend a lot of time soaking up enough Portland atmosphere to keep me going in H-dale til May.

I was standing in the security line after K-ris dropped me off, grinning like the Cheshire cat and looking like an idiot. I couldn't stop. Knowing how silly I must look amused me even more and I had to suppress a giggle. I'm sure the man in front of me thought I was insane. It's because I'm headed home, to my beloved family and P-town for Christmas, folks!

I'm just a lonely collegegirl, wandering rather aimlessly through life, but today I have purpose. Today...I'm going home.

And so I smile.