It's a beautiful day in Hillsdale. From my vantage point on the second floor of the library, I see many colors. The sky is brilliant and clear today, shining on trees completely swathed in yellow, green, orange, and red. It's warm enough that you don't need a jacket, but instead of running around outside enjoying the t-shirt October, I'm inside the library doing homework.
I have made a shattering discovery. It is a volatile discovery, able to send worlds into disarray at any moment. It shatters the very social structure of our western world. It is so amazing, yet so simple; one wonders why I haven't realized it before.
College is not a thing.
College is not a place.
College is a feeling.
hungry
overwhelmed
exhausted
sick
tests
deadlines
words to read
words to write
unattached
not getting any tasteful or actually nourishing food
being swamped with homework
research paper due friday
not finding any good sources for said research paper
major greek test friday
cca paper due next friday
play to read
theatre paper due monday
7 history papers due in five weeks
poem to memorize
paper to write about currently unmemorized poem
headache
sore throat
sleep-deprived
people drama
greek sentences to translate
heavy backpack
library
stress
work
Today, I feel like a college student. I have not really honestly felt like one since I got here, and that fact has kind of puzzled me. I mean, I've been at college for over two months now, but it hasn't really been that different. Until today. I now know why. I had resigned myself to the fact that being at college isn't that much different from being anywhere else, but now I know the truth. And if it's going to be like this for four years, well...I'd better get my attitude right, or you're all going to be in for some serious whining.
Calling it a "college" doesn't make it so because college is not a physical place. A name does not make someone a college student. College is a state of mind - one in which I would prefer not to be in right now.
"Discuss... But not too heatedly."
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4 comments:
I suppose this would be a bad time to say
EDIT EVA
something to the effect of
EDIT EVA
"I am waiting"
"EDIT EVA"
but also patiently
EDIT EVA
'cause I am writing more. Got two new pages
EDIT EVA
already. Ain't life grand and comletely absent of subliminal messages??
i must say, that for me college = stress and drama
well, as much drama as you can have at a girls' school *wink*
~*k
(A poem for Emelina... I'm sitting in the library at school... Call this one, "Yeah, man. I hear ya.")
I can't find my pen
My pencil is lost
Mind's wandering again
(It's going to cost)
If I could take notes
I might make it through class...
But my pen's lost again
And the sun's shining in
And I just *can't* begin
To battle or win
With the sun shining in
And my lack of a pen.
SO! I won't take my notes
And I'll dream through this class
And I'll borrow some notes
Which will summarize that last
Bit about Greek.
Or...
Something.
I'll dream about brunch
I'll dream about lunch
I'll dream about home
I'll dream that I'm grown
I'll dream school's in my past
I'll dream employment at last
I'll dream about family,
I'll dream about food,
I'll dream about bed,
I'll dream books to be read,
I'll dream paths to be tread,
And I'll look on ahead
Out the window on the wall
(Not ahead in the hall)
To where all of this "crawl"
Has finally, *finally* become:
A dance which is nothing like college.
:)
"Study" outside for a while! The weather is lovely here as well. Happy Poetry memorization...
~Em
I'm sorry you're stressed out right now. Hopefully this list will remind you of some of the good things:
professors
invigorating
ideas
entertaining
autonomy
reality
laughter
ridiculous people
schedule cards
new friends
back rubs
praying
eating together
crowded saga tables
fall leaves
small town
late night Wal*Mart runs
football
baseball
mythic
America
ancients
old stories come to life
tradition
breaking tradition
Snow!
Philippians 4:5-7 (look it up, it is good)
Call me if I can help. -Bets
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