it's not easy...

As Kermit the Frog once said, 'It's not easy being green.'

It's never easy to do the right thing. Doing the right thing when you're unsure of exactly what to do and exactly how to do it is even harder. I am so easily distracted. My focus is frequently inward instead of godward. It is painful to come to that realization that you're off key, and it's even harder to do what it takes to hit the high notes again. But you know that it's what you have to do.

Am I ready to give this up? It's so much easier to put aside things that are 'wrong.' Putting aside something that is 'good,' yet distracting, is ever so much more painful and difficult. And how do other people's feelings fit into all of this?

Pride is a constant struggle. The moment I take my eyes off Jesus, I fall. And I fall hard.

we get distracted by dreams of our own
but nobody's happy while feeling alone
knowing how hard it hurts when we fall
we lean another ladder against the wrong wall
and climb high to the highest rung
to shake fists at the sky
others have excuses
but i have my reasons why

I am a liar. I claim allegience to honesty, yet I am not honest with myself. I insist upon a fondness for humility, yet I find it grossly uncomfortable to be humbled. I scorn flattery, yet I am easily flattered. I pity their empty faces, yet I too wear a mask. I label myself different from all the others, yet I'm really just holding to a higher standard of arrogance. I defensively say I'm a winner, yet I know that when I try to stand alone, I lose. I proclaim contentment, yet I am envious of what is not yet mine. I announce a strength of focus, yet I ignore my lack of vision.

the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? - jeremiah 17:9 I know how evil I can be, yet God tells me that my own heart is wicked beyond my imagination. If that knowledge doesn't bring you to your knees...

in trying to be different
i ended up the same
ignoring the whole truth
and hating this game

This life is not about me or what I think I want right now. My life and identity are Jesus Christ. 'My life is hid with Christ on high, with Christ my Savior and my God.' This is about the renewing of my spirit, and transformation of my heart.

now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present you faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy, to God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.