a sermon...

I'm sleep deprived and I have a cold. I should be in bed right now, but hear me out. I've got a lot on my mind, and I'm going to try to make some sense of it.

before the throne of God above
i have a strong and perfect plea
a great high preist
who's name is love
who ever lives and pleads for me

Wait. Go back and read those words again, please. And don't just skim them. Actually read them, actually think about them. What does it mean to you that you have a high preist who's name is LOVE and that He is ever pleading for you before the throne of the Almighty King of heaven and earth? If that doesn't effect your speech, your attitudes, your relationships with people, your LIFE, then something isn't clicking.

I'll admit that there are way too many days where it doesn't click for me. I get up and the first thing I do is check my e-mail. Why am I more excited to read a note from you than a personal letter from my CREATOR?

when satan tempts me to despair
and tells me of the guilt within
upward i look and see him there
who made an end to all my sin
because the sinless savior died
my sinful soul is counted free

Hebrews has definintely been the book over the past month or so...espically chapters 11 and 12. From my own readings, a current Bible study (Tuesday nights at Waterman, girls...), and the message preached this morning, God is consistant.

'These all died in faith, not having recieved the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland.' - hebrews 11:13-14

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but 'strangers and pilgrims' is the phrase written on my door. I have been challenged to declare plainly, through my actions, speech, attitudes, and life that this world is merely an ugly workstation, not my home. I know I frequently do not declare that. Old habits die hard, and new habits take time to form. But hopefully, I'm learning.

Esther and I spent a lovely day with our suitemates, Jessica and Kristina Weaver and their family. They live about an hour and a half from school, so we got up early and went to church. It was amazing. I've never felt so at home at a church that wasn't HOFCC. The music was worshipful and there was actually good expositional teaching of the word of God. (how scary is it that i'm slightly surprised to find that in a church??) There were so many excellent points in the message, but the main thing that really stood out was about the race that is the Christian faith. It's really more like a boat race than a foot race, and you're paddling upstream. When you stop actively pushing forward, you drift back. There is no neutral resting position. Scary, huh?

Also, when you examine specific things in your life: relationships, jobs, goals, etc, don't ask 'is this a good thing or not?' Ask 'does this help me race better?' It changes the perspective. It's not easy, though. There are 'good' things that can slow you down, or keep you from paddling your hardest. I was really challenged to examine my life by those terms.

As for the rest of the day, we ate Mediterranean food, had delightfully deep conversation, and played with some of the cutest little kids (sorry, steph, but they actually rival your siblings!), and got officially adopted as 'honorary big sisters and daughters.' It was really hard to leave, and I missed my family so much.

The ride home was awesome. Like, falling on your face in the presence of God awesome. We talked, prayed, and sang. It's so incredible to understand people on a deeper level, you know? Like when you get past the common likes and dislikes in superficial things, and really share about your relationship with God. It sometimes scares me, because there are people that I've known for a long time, but we still don't have that type of friendship. And it's my fault, because I'm too concerned with my own 'need-to-be-liked'ness to ask tough questions. By God's grace, I'll be asking more of those questions.

I know a ton of ground was covered in this post, and I'm sorry. My head is fuzzy. I love you guys.

behold him there the risen lamb
my perfect, spotless righteousness
the great unchangable i am
the king of glory and of grace
one with himself i cannot die
my soul is purchased by his blood
my life is hid with christ on high
with christ my savior and my god